Browsed by
Month: October 2016

RAISING BOYS

RAISING BOYS

smart-phone-foolish-christian

How many of you think its okay to teach your boy child how to do chores around the house?Is it necessary is it important? And why should we do it or not do it?

Actually yes it is necessary and of great importance.

Too many men these days go around saying and thinking that the home affairs and baby duties rest solely on the female child. Its wrong. God created Adam and told him to tend to the garden and everything he had given him.  The Garden was were Adam ate drank slept played am sure you get the gist. Perhaps God decided it was too much workload for him or he was bored and didn’t have the zeal to tend to anything; whatever the case God decided it was not good for man to be alone and he created an helpmate for him. That’s where we ladies come in.

Back to the issue at hand as mothers I feel it is our duty to ensure a new generation of men rise. How can we do this?

I will tell you that the major reason why there are a lot of broken men in our generation is because their fathers where either not present or actively involved in their lives.

Is your boy getting the much needed attention from his father or are you showering him with too much love that he ends up thinking every woman should be at his beck and call.

Fathers have a special function to play in the lives of children so even if divorce comes into the picture please ladies ensure these boys spend time with their fathers.

In a case where the above is impossible connect them with a responsible trustworthy male that can influence him positively. It’s not easy raising kids, one thing that makes it 90% successful is when you introduce Jesus to your kids.

Our boys need to understand that a woman is special and should be treated with respect. One day he will be the head of his own home and how he treats his wife and kids will be based entirely on what you expose them to now.

Its time to let the boys know they should be the priest in their home. Its time to let them know that as leaders it is their duty to ensure their family chase after God. They will in turn grow up to be men who are not ashamed to run to God in time of trouble, not ashamed to surrender to him and not ashamed to worship God anywhere anyhow.

We need to make our boys know that house chores or raising kids is not a woman thing.

Its important we let our boys know that being a man does not make you superior its only makes you a Leader with responsibilities and the most important is being accountable to God…

 

 

31 DAYS OF CONFESSION- DAY 25

31 DAYS OF CONFESSION- DAY 25

It’s a beautiful morning and we are breaking yokes with the backing of Heaven. Are you ready to speak with authority?

Well, here you go.

Today I speak over my life that the Lord shall vindicate me; he shall fulfill his purpose concerning me and perfect all that concerns me. The Lord is my fortress, my stronghold and my deliverer. The Lord is my shield and I take refuge in Him; He subdues people and nations under me.My children shall be like plants nurtured in their youth and they shall be like corner pillars that are carved in the palace style.My storehouses shall be full, supplying all kinds of produce; my flocks shall increase by thousands and tens of thousands in my open fields.The work of my hands shall increase and fatten. There will be no mishap, failures or cry of distress around me.

My mouth shall continually declare the praises of God. The Lord satisfies me with the best of the bests this season. When the wicked take counsel together, it shall be thwarted; when they speak concerning me or anything that has my name on it, it shall not stand: for God is with us.I and the children whom the LORD has given me are for signs and wonders therefore we do exploit. The Lord increases my gladness. Eyes have not seen, hears have not heard, it has not entered the heart of any man the things that God is doing (set to do) for me. Every burden is lifted from my shoulder and every evil yoke over my destiny is broken because of the anointing.I believe, I say Amen and it is settled.

Have a blessed day!

Recap on Beautified DIVA Series Abuja by Titi Shittu

Recap on Beautified DIVA Series Abuja by Titi Shittu

The very first edition of the Beautified Diva Series in Abuja was all shades of amazinggg!!!

I remember how I had always stalked Funto Ibuoye on her Instagram page, and just hoped that one day it would not be from proximity anymore. I sure did want to be on her team and the opportunity finally came.

After weeks and weeks of organizing and putting things in place for the event (Can I add that Funto is super determined and she just knows how to pull everyone along)….Let me save you the story of my experience working with her and get down to the business of the day.

The event tagged “Step UP, Step OUT, STRETCH” was a time of dining with our KING because we are QUEENS. We started up with an intense worship session, everyone dropping the weights they carried before their maker. Hearts crying out to GOD and laying it all at HIS feet. What a soothing relief it was!

We then went for a tea break/ Selfie session. Here each lady brings her ‘A’ game on in taking selfies and connecting with other divas in the room. This created an atmosphere of serenity. No matter how stressed you’ve been, at least you would not mind taking a selfie..haha

Our first speaker Theodora Ayeni, a woman who carries a virtuous fragrance. She came up boldly to tell her story. At some point I got teary cause I could not just imagine how a woman who sincerely fears the Lord could go through all that from her husband, and still find her bearing.  Now she has come to the realization that all that process and breaking she had to go through has calcified into the super fabulous woman she has become. She spoke on “The Place of GOD”. Some of the points she made are highlighted below:

  • The Place of GOD is that place where you take your mind off earthly things and just dwell in GOD’s presence.
  • The world has made us feel that visibility is all that matters. You might have money, but you’re not happy because you are not in HIS place.
  • If you want to continue being in HIS place, self must die!
  • When HE is breaking you, think about the One million lives he wants to teach from your story.
  • We must not reduce who we are (No compromise). You cannot carry the Holy Spirit and be normal, so when people do not understand you should not be bothered because GOD’s gat you.

Finally it’s not your brain that gives you dominion, it’s the SPIRIT.

The second speaker Eziaha Bolaji-Olojo, also known as COACH E is a Food and Fitness coach. Eziaha is a complete example of a woman who has been STRETCHED into the fullness of GOD. She spoke on the “The ‘S’ Woman”. S STANDS FOR Strong. Here are some things to note from her teaching:

  • If you are going to step up, step out, and stretch, you need to be strong.
  • There are 3 levels of strength;
  1. The Physical strength
  2. The Spiritual strength
  • The Mental strength

The physical which deals with your flesh, and how you keep it under control through effective exercises and diets. The Spiritual which emphasizes your daily work with GOD, keeping a close relationship with HIM. And the mental which refers to you level of investment in knowledge. Empowering yourself through books, and other materials.

  • The word “Stretch” means to be capable of being made longer and wider without tearing or breaking. It means to reach as far as possible.
  • There is a reward to your stretch
  • If you do not discipline your flesh, it would begin to sip into you spiritual and mental side and you will start to experience a decline in those areas.
  • We are on a divine relay, its wonderful when you identify these people you are to do life with
  • You need spiritual muscles. You can mistakenly sound intelligent, nut you cannot mistakenly build spiritual muscles.

Some scriptures on which these points are hinged include; Proverbs 31:15, Mark 1:35, Psalms 32:8

Then our very own Beautified woman Funto Ibuoye took the last session. She spoke on the woman with the issue of blood Mark 5:25-33.She spoke with so much depth. The entire room was silent as she spoke, we could not help but just listen and write as much as you can catch.  She pointed out some distinct attributes about the woman in that story. Then came the rhetorical question:

ARE YOU TELLING JESUS THE WHOLE TRUTH ABOUT YOUR SITUATION???

We learnt that we need to believe in GOD in other for HIM to make us whole. There is so much GOD wants to do for us, in us and through us. He is raising an army, don’t you want to be recruited?

As a daughter of the KING of Kings, we are Queens. Who is a queen?

  • A queen is wise
  • She has earned her serenity not having it bestowed on her but because she has passed her test.
  • She has proved she can hold her kingdom.
  • She cares deeply about something that is bigger than herself.
  • She rules with authentic power

God is not calling you to be the local champion of your corner, HE’s calling you to Step Up, Step Out and Stretch!!!

Next on the programme of events was a musical performance by Blessing Tangba. She is an Afro Folk music artiste.  Her voice pierced through the heart of every diva. Before now I would never have thought I could enjoy that genre of music. But whattt!!!…her performance reformed my opinion.  All eyes focusing on her as she delivered a very believable, spirit lifting piece.

We went for lunch right after Blessing Tangban’s performance and we had a buffet of very delicious and sumptuous meals as we connected with each other.  Right after lunch was a very powerful spoken word session by Bologi. She did two pieces;  the first is titled “I will wait for you” by Jannette IKZ and the other one was about her personal story which was very powerful.  This got a lot of ladies snapping their fingers. It was completely relatable.

 

SISTER- SISTER FORUM

This was a frank no holds barred interactive session. Here all the panelists were as real as possible. Some tips we got from the session include:

  • Building you confidence starts from the consciousness of who you are in Christ. Your boldness and courage is hinged on HIM.
  • In a situation where your partner is not matching up to your expectation as regards you purpose, you don’t need to drag him into it. You were the one given the vision. So you need to find your completeness in Christ and let him find you fulfilling your dreams.

A beautified lady asked how do you manage to remain pure when you really love this guy and you are both God’s children? Funto’s answer was you need to understand that GOD comes first and you definitely want to please Him. She made a covenant with God and that made her stay on track. Also having defined boundaries such as not staying in the car alone late at nights, leaving the room door wide open if you must stay alone in a room etc.

Another Diva asked how one can build up mental and Spiritual strength. Eziaha gave an apt answer by saying that in building up mental strength in the area GOD has called you to be, you need to be intentional about it. Stretching into God’s fullness does not just end at speaking in tongues, you also need to be skillful in that area. Follow closely those who have succeeded and are still succeeding in that area. Liking and commenting on their posts on social media should not be all you do. Study them. Analyze them, According to her ‘Stay in their Slip stream. A slip stream is that region most times a given distance from those you look up to so you can closely follow their example

At the end of this session we prayed passionately and exchanged prayer points. So each Diva makes it a point of duty to pray for another Diva.

Having said all these, I hope we are fully set to stretch into God’s fullness and take our world by storm!

0102 03 04 05 06 07 08 09 010 011 012 013 014 015 017 018 019 020 021 022 023 024 025 026 027 028 029 030 031 032 033 034 035 036 037 038 039 040 041 042 044 045 046 047 048 049 050 051 052 053 054 055 056 057 058 059 060 061 062 063 064 065 066 067 068

31 DAYS OF CONFESSION – DAY 24

31 DAYS OF CONFESSION – DAY 24

It’s a beautiful morning and as we declare today’s confessions we pray that Heaven will give us speedy answers.

Today I decree over my life and my household that it shall be well with us and we shall eat the fruit of our labour. There shall be peace within our walls and prosperity within our palaces.I decree that the Lord is on our side always therefore we are not attacked by the wicked. We are not swallowed up in their burning anger and we are not overwhelmed. We are not prey to their teeth therefore the snare is broken and we have escaped. The scepter of the wicked shall not rest upon me and my household.

The Lord shall grant my desires today and it shall be unto me as a dream. God does amazing things for me today therefore I decree joy in my heart and laughter in my mouth. Every of my lost fortune is restored. I harvest with joy every seed I have sown in tears. Every seed I have planted weeping, I reap my harvest with singing. I decree life to surge back in every dead seed of mine. The Lord gives my seed another body.I do not labour in vain because the Lord works with me; I do not stay awake in vain because the Lord is my guard. In the order of King Jehoshaphat, the Lord gives me perfect peace and rest round about. I am the Lord’s beloved therefore I do not have sleepless nights over any matter; the Lord gives me sleep and I am not restless.

Because I am a tree that bears its fruits in due season, I decree that I shall not be barren. My children are a gift from the Lord; they are a reward from the Lord. My children shall do exploits in their generation, in my life time they shall seat on thrones. They shall be like arrows in a warrior’s hands. My quiver is full of them and I have pure bliss and joy over them. For the sake of my children, I shall not be put to shame and confidently I confront my accusers at the city gates. I enjoy the rewards of all I have worked for and more. I shall be happy and all things shall go well for me.My spouse shall be like a fruitful vine within my household, my children shall be like young olive trees around my table. The LORD shall bless me from Zion, therefore I shall see the prosperity all the days of your life.I believe, I say Amen and it is settled.

31 DAYS OF CONFESSION- DAY 23

31 DAYS OF CONFESSION- DAY 23

Good Morning Beautified Lady

Today, I decree that I do not walk in the counsel of the wicked, nor stand in the path of sinners, nor sit in the seat of scoffers but my delight is in the law of the LORD. I am not defeated nor overpowered by the wicked. The Lord is my way maker and miracle worker; therefore where men say there is no way, the Lord makes a way for me and opens supernatural doors. The Lord makes me a blessing to others. The Lord shall arise and have mercy upon me; now is my time to be helped.The Lord redeems me from death and crowns me with love and tender mercies. The Lord fills my life with good things and my youth is renewed like the eagles’.The Lord reveals himself to me and his deeds become unmistakable in me.

I am not oppressed. The Lord reproves kings on my behalf. The Lord makes me very fruitful and stronger than my foes. I am delivered from every depression. The Lord shatters the doors of bronze and cuts in asunder the bars of iron against me. As I study the word of God, my healing and deliverance from destruction is guaranteed. The Lord brings me to my desired haven. The Lord turns every desert into pools of water and every parched land into springs of water. The Lord raises me out of every affliction.I decree that my adversaries are clothed with shame, and they shall be covered with their own confusion, as with a mantle. The Lord is on my side as my helper therefore I go conquering and to conquer.

I cut off every wicked and evil surrounding me and my household. The Lord is my strength and defense. I meditate on God’s precepts and fix my eyes on His ways. The Lord confirms to me all His promises. As I obey His commandments, I am made wiser than my enemies. I lift my eyes up to the mountains and my help comes from the Lord, who made heaven and earth. I shall not stumble because the one who watches over me does not slumber.The Lord himself watches over me and He stands beside me as my protective shade. Therefore, the sun shall not harm me by day nor the moon at night.The Lord keeps me from all harm and watches over my life and household.The Lord keeps watch over me as I come in and go out,both now and forever.I believe, I say Amen and it is settled.

31 DAYS OF CONFESSION – DAY 22

31 DAYS OF CONFESSION – DAY 22

Good Morning Beautified Lady

It’s Day 22 of our 31 days of confessions and we are declaring the blessings of God all over!

Today I decree over my life that men shall stand in awe of my testimonies. My towns and fields are blessed. My children and my crops are blessed. The offspring of my herds and flocks are blessed. I experience God’s blessings inside the city and His blessings in the country. My fruit baskets and bread boards are blessed. Wherever I go and whatever I do is blessed. The Lord shall conquer my enemies when they attack. They will attack from one direction, but they shall scatter from me in seven ways. The Lord’s blessing is guaranteed on whatsoever I do and the Lord shall fill my storehouses with grains. The Lord God shall bless and increase me greatly on every side.

The appointed time is now, therefore the Lord shall send rain upon me from his rich treasury in the heavens and the Lord shall bless all the work I do. I shall lend to many nations, but I shall never need to borrow from them. I am the head and not the tail, and I shall always be on top and never at the bottom. The Lord fills my mouth with good things. The Lord shall feed me with the finest of the wheat and satisfies me with wild honey from the rock. Every season of my life is clothed with the blessings of God and I continue to grow stronger. The Lord gives me grace and glory and does not withhold any good thing from me.

The Lord grants me purity of heart therefore I honour Him. My best days are ahead of me. The Lord gives me beauty instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning and the mantle of praise instead of a spirit of fainting.Every plant that my heavenly Father has not planted shall be pulled up by the roots.Surely there is no enchantment against me, neither is there any divination against my household.I believe, I say Amen and it is settled.

Ask Funto: Is it Ok to date/marry a guy who’s younger than I am?

Ask Funto: Is it Ok to date/marry a guy who’s younger than I am?

smart-phone-foolish-christian

 

So I got this question from one of my Instagram followers this week and decided it would be a good question to talk about here as there might be a few others who find themselves in the same situation.

I once was in a relationship with a guy I was about a year older than and we were good while we lasted; it wasn’t so much the age difference that made me break off the relationship, but somewhere at the back of my mind, I felt like I wouldn’t be able to fully submit to him as my husband as I was more mature than he was and maturity wasn’t about the age difference.

Mine wasn’t even so ‘bad’; I have a friend whose mum is five years older than her dad and the have been married for over 25 years and still growing strong. When it comes to age and relationships, personally I think age is just a number and if you don’t mind, it really doesn’t matter.

In my opinion, age is not one of the major factors that determine whether a marriage will be successful or not. Yes it plays a significant role, however in true friendship, age does not really count. Nobody emphasizes who is the oldest. Rather, the two people involved in the friendship just relate freely, not emphasizing seniority or superiority. This should be the same in the marriage where love reigns.

What determines leadership in any situation is not always age; it is the role the individual recognized as the head plays at the time that makes him the head. For instance, think of a young man who pastors a church and most of the congregation is far older than him, yet he is the head, simply because of the role he plays in the church. The same applies to a marriage where the woman is older than the man. In this kind of marriage, the man still plays the role of a husband, while the woman plays the role of a wife. That’s just the order and no one can reverse it. No matter the age difference, no culture, tradition or people will ever give the role of a husband to the woman because she is older. Similarly, the man does not become the husband because he is older; he is the husband because he is the man of the house and that automatically makes him the head. So really, age does not determine the success of any marriage; maturity, love and understanding do.

If you’re looking at marrying a man you’re older than whether by months or years, there are some major things you need to consider.

  1. Maturity

It’s clear that maturity is not a function of age. In considering marrying a man younger than you are, one major question to ask is – “does he have the maturity to understand your needs and take care of you?”  I like how vocabulary.com puts it-  Some people might be physically mature, which is to say that they are fully physically grown, but don’t yet exhibit signs of emotional maturity — such as a willingness to accept responsibility, or maintain poise in serious situations — for a long time afterward. How does he relate with the people in his life; does he show a sense of responsibility; is he someone you can easily follow his leadership and not try to treat him like he’s your younger brother even if they might be the same age? Ask yourself this- “Will I be willing to submit even if his leadership is not as mature as I would like?”  When it comes to marriage, the man assumes the responsibility of the head. Regardless of the age difference between both of you, he deserves respect and adoration from you.

  1. Consider the ‘Pros’ and the ‘Cons’

This kind of marriage has its own share of problems and its peculiarity will inevitably open it up to several challenges. One of such is how you get along with the person’s friends, because these people will also be part of your life. Also, because of the age disparity, both of you may not have many life experiences in common and this may make it challenging t to find common ground to stand on.

  1. Is it God’s will for you?

Every couple should seek confirmation that their relationship is God’s will. An age difference is just one factor to consider. The bigger question is “Is this God’s will?”  While you both can exercise wisdom in thinking through some of the unique challenges you might face, you can also trust Him with the details. If it is His will for you to marry a man younger than you are, then you can be sure He has graced you both for it.

Finally, as with all marriages, remember that there are prices to pay, challenges to face, things to endure;therefore, critically count the cost and be sure your man is ready and willing to stay with you and remain faithful to your marital vows.

 

 

31 DAYS OF CONFESSION – DAY 21

31 DAYS OF CONFESSION – DAY 21

Today I decree that the Lord gives me a mouth and a wisdom that my adversaries cannot gain say. I decree that the Lord opens the floodgates of heaven over me.Everything God has declared forbidden and unlawful in my life and destiny remains so. I wait upon the Lord and he renews my strength. Therefore I lift my wings and mount up as eagles, I run and I am not weary, I walk and I do not faint nor become tired. I and my household shall serve the Lord and he shall bless our bread and water and sickness shall be taken away from our midst. We shall not lose our young by miscarriage neither would we be barren or infertile.

The Lord shall make me a new sharp threshing instrument which has teeth; I shall thresh the mountains and beat them small and I shall make the hills like chaff. I severe myself from every toxic relationship and every veil covering my vision is lifted. The Lord shall perfect that which concerns me. I flourish like the palm tree therefore I am long-lived, stately, upright, useful and fruitful. I grow like a cedar in Lebanon therefore I am majestic, stable, durable and incorruptible.I am planted in the house of the Lord therefore I flourish in the courts of my God. I grow in grace therefore I bear fruits even at old age and I shall be full of spiritual vitality and rich in contentment. My horn is exalted like that of a unicorn and I am anointed with fresh oil. I believe, I say Amen and it is settled.

In Retrospect

In Retrospect

 smart-phone-foolish-christian

If you were to go back in time, say five, eight years back to sit yourself down and have a conversation with yourself, what would your words express?–boldness wrapped up in depth of wisdom that you have picked up in your growth process or would you share pitiful tales that play out with you as a victim?

Or if you were to write a letter to your ten year old self, what would the letter convey?- Words of assurance of the beauty that lies in life or would you share in the uncertainty you had as a ten year old, giving conviction to the doubts that clouded your mind as a child because you couldn’t outgrow them?

As we journey through life, we get older and for many, a lot gets added to the years not just the numbers,the maturity that comes with age begin to impact on the decisions you are make

It is so amazing how we rise above certain seasons of our lives, look back and realize how far we stand in totally unparalleled paths with the unbridled lane of unpleasant experiences that once stood to define us. There is nothing truly more beautiful than a woman who has risen above set backs, hurt, raging storm of doubt and fear, pressure to give in to complacent life expectations and beyond the borders, sails the turbulent storms of the sea in life.

It does a whole lot of good to relive these tough times and days of gruesome hurdles not to give in to wistfulness but to  add to our memoirs of gratitude. As the past recedes and as the future beckons our present state is tied to how well we’ve overcome the battles we once had to face or how well we’ve learnt the lessons we had to learn in life. When we connect the dots between the situations meant to form us as opposed to the ones that stood to crush us, perhaps we get to appreciate our seasons much more.

All things work together for our good, whether we realise it or not, but from the moment we choose to take a godly-stance with our hearts completely sold out to Him, we sign in to a life long deal of being unbreakable by storms in life; yes there are bound to be storms, but hold on to the assurance of His love, hold on to the vision of being the highest version of yourself every season.

As you travail, birthing your destiny per time, never forget to go back in retrospect to track your progress and give thanks for how far you have gone. That is where true growth lies.

Written By

Olajumoke Afolarin

31 DAYS OF CONFESSION – DAY 20

31 DAYS OF CONFESSION – DAY 20

Yaaay! It’s Day 20 of our 31 days of confession already.

Are you ready to decree the covering of God upon your family?

Here we go;

Today I decree over me and my household that the blood of Jesus puts Satan at bay over our lives.The spirit that raised Christ from the dead quickens my mortal bodies and everything dead in my life comes alive.I dwell in the city of the most high therefore I remain stable and fixed under the shadow of the almighty whose power no one can withstand.  The Lord is my refuge and my fortress, my God on whom I lean and rely and in Him I confidently trust. The Lord delivers me and my household from the snare of the fowler and from all deadly pestilence. We are covered by God with His pinions and under His wings lies our refuge. I am not afraid of the terror by night nor of the slanders/evil plots of the wicked that flies by day. I am divinely preserved by God, therefore no pestilence that stalks in darkness or destruction nor sudden death have power over me.

A thousand may fall at my side, and ten thousand at my right hand, but it shall not come near me and my household. Only a spectator shall I be as I witness the reward of the wicked. Because I have made the Lord my refuge and the most high my dwelling, no evil shall befall me and my household nor plague nor calamity nor chaos nor casualty come near my dwelling. The Lord shall give His Angels charge over me and all that concerns me;they shall accompany me, preserve and defend me in all my ways all through my days.

The angels of the Lord bear me up on their hands therefore I shall not dash my foot against any stone. I shall tread upon the lion and adder, upon the young lion and serpent I shall trample under my foot. The Lord delivers me because of his everlasting love; the Lord shall set me up on high. The Lord shall give me a name that only Him will name. With long life the Lord shall satisfy me and show me His salvation.I believe, I say Amen and it is settled.

Please wait...

Join The Beautified Network!

Hello Beautified Woman! Join our Network and be the first to know once we have a new post up. Enter your email address and name below.