How to handle a spouse from a dysfunctional home

How to handle a spouse from a dysfunctional home


Being married to a spouse from a dysfunctional home is a gift; it’s a gift in the sense that your spouse would be more sensitive and alert to the things you would not even think of in the first place.

That said let’s look at how you can handle the negative side of things.

First things first; you need to identify the issue, what went down back at home, long before you met; it is important to have known this before marriage but in the case were you didn’t know this is how to know.

Whenever they are ready or willing to talk LISTEN!

Don’t listen to respond, don’t give any advice when they are done just LISTEN! After the discussion hug them tight if he/she ends up crying let them cry hold them till they are done.

Tell them you are there for them say a prayer with them asking God to heal their wounds, take away the pain and teach you how to be the spouse they need you to be.


Secondly if there are negative traits; usually these traits tend towards the extreme, you need try to correct them constructively. It is very important to watch the way you speak to them cause some of them are usually suicidal if not all. Correct in love. If they for any reason feel hurt by the way you tried to correct take time to explain what you mean.

The bulk of your arguments as a couple would be based on misunderstanding. It’s always important to express yourself well and ensure that your message is passed across.

Always end with how much you love them regardless of what they do. Most times people from dysfunctional homes are always hard on themselves; because of the negative environment they grew up in they have learnt to always blame themselves for whatever happens and they never see a reason to give themselves a pat on the back.

Help them celebrate little victories and open their eyes to see the positive side of things always.

When praying; instead of praying for God to change your spouse, pray to God to help you be a better person for your spouse.

Your spouse went through that difficult road in the past and still came out strong, appealing and attractive to someone like you. Don’t give up on them they are still here for a reason I call such people diamonds.

Till next time. stay blessed up.

Written By

Tosin Opara

I am the content Creator/Brand manager for “Deestylefairy”. I am passionate about family, parenting and personal development, which are the values that my brand represents.


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