One of the things that make for a great relationship is lack of secrecy, when there are no skeletons lurking in the shadows or cupboards of your lives, you will enjoy peace of mind in your relationship; but just like in everything in life, there should be a balance.
I heard an unfortunate story that prompted this post, a lady and a guy were in a relationship, they loved each other dearly and planned to get married in fact, the guy had already proposed and of course she said yes. They were both born again and even though the lady had led a questionable life before she became born again, her past only made her love God more. The guy had been born again all his life, you know the I-grew-up-in-the-church type who obviously loves God, very active in church and holds several offices. When the guy decided that he wanted to marry this particular lady, not everyone was excited but he said he knew his conviction and the lady made sure he knew about her past and that she had not been good all her life. The guy said the past was past and they should look towards the future together.
One beautiful day, they had just been on a date and he was going to drop her at home when the lady saw an old acquaintance, the dude was looking rough and unkempt but they hugged and exchanged pleasantries, she introduced him to her fiancé and he left. On their way, he asked who the guy was and she said he was an old boyfriend from her past; she then began to tell him the kind of life they used to live, drugs, wild sex and partying none stop. She ended her narrative by saying “He knows every inch of my body”.
The guy dropped her off at home but broke off the relationship a few days later, his reason was that he always knew she had a rough past but he could not get past the fact that someone else knew every inch of her body as she so succinctly put it.
The question is where did she go wrong, was she wrong for talking about her past? No. Did she say more than was necessary or she was supposed? Yes. The bible says “wisdom is profitable to direct” and “there is a time to speak and a time to shut up”. What if she had stopped at “He’s and old boyfriend from my past”; the guy knew she had a sordid past and was still ready to marry her but when he gave her the details, he couldn’t get past it. Some might say the guy is immature and selfish but the lady was not wise as well.
As I stated earlier, there is balance to everything in life, you have to know what to say, when to say and how to say but above all else, we have the holy spirit who will always teach and guide us in all things if we let him, that is wisdom.
Written By Jesuseun Adebo. Worshipper, writer and a blogger who is passionate about impacting lives in unusual ways. Read more of her work here