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ASK FUNTO: how do you know it’s time to start fulfilling your role in the kingdom?

ASK FUNTO: how do you know it’s time to start fulfilling your role in the kingdom?

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I got this question from one of my Instagram followers recently-

Good evening Funto, hope your day went well. Okay I get we should walk in purpose and all. But what if it’s not yet time. Like what if God hasn’t given you the go ahead or you’ve not just heard the go ahead. What do you now do?

This is a very interesting question and I believe a lot of people are asking this same question.

First off, I think the first step to answering this question is to understand what purpose really is.

I believe we all want to know that we’re on the right path. And that’s what walking in purpose really implies—it’s more than a job or task. Whether your primary work is in the corporate or business world , the home, or a combination of both, we all desire the assurance and purposefulness of being able to say, “I was created for this. I’m doing what God wants me to do.” However, I’ve come to realize that that’s not really how God works.

Many times we want to know God’s will so we can set to work at tasks for God. We think of it like getting a homework assignment: “Do this, this and this, and you’re good to go.”

But guess what? pursing purpose isn’t really about what you can do for God. What God wants, beyond any accomplishment, is your heart. He wants to bring you into relationship with Him.

Knowing God’s purpose for your life is following God’s heart. It’s allowing God to fill you and work through you moment by moment, day by day. It’s about spending time in His written Word and in prayer, and allowing His Spirit to fill you and reveal truth to you.

Our purpose as Christians is to build the Kingdom of God. This is the calling of every believer, but each person has a different role in this project. God must reveal to you what your part is. Your role in His Kingdom work will utilize your natural gifts and talents, but it will also require His spirit to empower you. Your work is really impossible without Him.

So the question now is how do you know when it is time to start fulfilling your role in the kingdom?

Once you’re in tune with God’s heart and daily growing in Him, you become so connected that you understand His still, small voice directing you day by day. Psalms 37:23 says “The steps of a good man are ordered by God.”

I personally understand this. So many scenarios where I’ve experienced my steps being ordered by God. One that’s recent is about starting my Interior Design business; It’s something I’ve always wanted to do but I wasn’t sure if it was something God wanted me to do and if He’d want me to do it alongside running The Beautified Network. So for a very long while, about a year.. I kept praying and asking God about it and also taking online courses and just preparing myself while I continued to be faithful with The Beautified Network and my other duties. As time passed, God ordered my steps to take a physical training on Interior Design with an organization I’m privileged to connect with and even while I was still training He sent 3 clients my way without me doing any major advertisement.

If you aren’t sure how God is specifically directing you, then it’s important that you remain faithful in the things you are doing right now and continue to move forward in your relationship with Him. Keep moving, one step at a time; don’t get stuck at a standstill.

Finally, when it comes to God’s purpose for our lives and timing, knowing His will isn’t about a calling for our whole lives, but rather tuning in to the Author of life and allowing the story of our lives to unfold daily as we connect with Jesus, the Word. And understanding that our overall purpose is to serve God.

I am not called to be a writer; I am called to be a servant of God.

I am not called to be the founder of an initiative that helps women discover and live in the FULLNESS of their purpose. I am called to be a servant of God

I am not called to be an interior designer. I am called to be a servant of God.

I am not called to be a godly wife; I am called to be a servant of God.

In your ever day life, are you serving God? That’s the bigger question and the answer will help you understand His purpose for you and His timing.

Ask Funto: How do I develop an intimate relationship with God?

Ask Funto: How do I develop an intimate relationship with God?

ASK FUNTO: HOW DO YOU STAY MOTIVATED?

ASK FUNTO: HOW DO YOU STAY MOTIVATED?

Ask Funto: Is it Ok to date/marry a guy who’s younger than I am?

Ask Funto: Is it Ok to date/marry a guy who’s younger than I am?

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So I got this question from one of my Instagram followers this week and decided it would be a good question to talk about here as there might be a few others who find themselves in the same situation.

I once was in a relationship with a guy I was about a year older than and we were good while we lasted; it wasn’t so much the age difference that made me break off the relationship, but somewhere at the back of my mind, I felt like I wouldn’t be able to fully submit to him as my husband as I was more mature than he was and maturity wasn’t about the age difference.

Mine wasn’t even so ‘bad’; I have a friend whose mum is five years older than her dad and the have been married for over 25 years and still growing strong. When it comes to age and relationships, personally I think age is just a number and if you don’t mind, it really doesn’t matter.

In my opinion, age is not one of the major factors that determine whether a marriage will be successful or not. Yes it plays a significant role, however in true friendship, age does not really count. Nobody emphasizes who is the oldest. Rather, the two people involved in the friendship just relate freely, not emphasizing seniority or superiority. This should be the same in the marriage where love reigns.

What determines leadership in any situation is not always age; it is the role the individual recognized as the head plays at the time that makes him the head. For instance, think of a young man who pastors a church and most of the congregation is far older than him, yet he is the head, simply because of the role he plays in the church. The same applies to a marriage where the woman is older than the man. In this kind of marriage, the man still plays the role of a husband, while the woman plays the role of a wife. That’s just the order and no one can reverse it. No matter the age difference, no culture, tradition or people will ever give the role of a husband to the woman because she is older. Similarly, the man does not become the husband because he is older; he is the husband because he is the man of the house and that automatically makes him the head. So really, age does not determine the success of any marriage; maturity, love and understanding do.

If you’re looking at marrying a man you’re older than whether by months or years, there are some major things you need to consider.

  1. Maturity

It’s clear that maturity is not a function of age. In considering marrying a man younger than you are, one major question to ask is – “does he have the maturity to understand your needs and take care of you?”  I like how vocabulary.com puts it-  Some people might be physically mature, which is to say that they are fully physically grown, but don’t yet exhibit signs of emotional maturity — such as a willingness to accept responsibility, or maintain poise in serious situations — for a long time afterward. How does he relate with the people in his life; does he show a sense of responsibility; is he someone you can easily follow his leadership and not try to treat him like he’s your younger brother even if they might be the same age? Ask yourself this- “Will I be willing to submit even if his leadership is not as mature as I would like?”  When it comes to marriage, the man assumes the responsibility of the head. Regardless of the age difference between both of you, he deserves respect and adoration from you.

  1. Consider the ‘Pros’ and the ‘Cons’

This kind of marriage has its own share of problems and its peculiarity will inevitably open it up to several challenges. One of such is how you get along with the person’s friends, because these people will also be part of your life. Also, because of the age disparity, both of you may not have many life experiences in common and this may make it challenging t to find common ground to stand on.

  1. Is it God’s will for you?

Every couple should seek confirmation that their relationship is God’s will. An age difference is just one factor to consider. The bigger question is “Is this God’s will?”  While you both can exercise wisdom in thinking through some of the unique challenges you might face, you can also trust Him with the details. If it is His will for you to marry a man younger than you are, then you can be sure He has graced you both for it.

Finally, as with all marriages, remember that there are prices to pay, challenges to face, things to endure;therefore, critically count the cost and be sure your man is ready and willing to stay with you and remain faithful to your marital vows.

 

 

ASK FUNTO: HOW DO I STAY PURE IN AN IMMORAL WORLD?

ASK FUNTO: HOW DO I STAY PURE IN AN IMMORAL WORLD?

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Indeed we live in a HIGHLY sexualized society and since we are discussing sexual purity today, I’d like to start from the author of sex, God.

God created sex and gave sex as a gift to be enjoyed between a husband and wife and within that committed relationship, sex is part of the glue that holds a marriage together but outside the boundaries of marriage, sexual relations are wrong and ultimately destructive. Therefore, the call of God to all of us, is the high call to sexual purity in all things.

There are so many challenges we face in our day whether single or married, child or adult and I just want to point out some of the obvious facts about our world now.

  1. Through the Internet the vilest forms of pornography are now easily available to everyone including young children.
  2. Homosexuality is now seen as an acceptable alternative lifestyle.
  3. Some churches now have openly gay clergy.
  4. We routinely see things on television or via any form of media that would have shocked us some years ago.
  5. Nothing really surprises us anymore. We’ve seen it all … and seen it so often we’ve lost our ability to be shocked. Adultery … premarital sex … group sex … lesbianism … pornography on our social media timelines, x-rated movies on TV … easy divorce … multiple marriages … quick abortions … incest … child abuse … bestiality … teen pregnancy … gay churches… radical sex education the list goes on and on.

Even the children are not left out. Kids in these days are growing up in a far different world than the one we grew up in.

They see more than we ever saw as children. They know more than we ever knew as children. And they see it and know it much earlier. It’s a major battle for their purity. And to be honest, sometimes I really am just scared thinking about how I’d raise my children in this world.

So what really is purity about?

Purity is not primarily about sex.

Purity is not primarily about what you do or don’t do.

Purity is not primarily about what you watch or read or what you say.

Purity is about God!

My personal definition of purity is loving God so much that you can’t imagine doing anything that will not honour Him. Purity is the personal decision to glorify God with your body, soul and spirit! So many times when we talk about purity, we put it in terms of dos and don’ts. Should I read this book? Is it wrong to see this movie? Is this blouse too revealing? Should I listen to this music? Those are legitimate questions, but they are secondary to the real issue.

The real question is not “Would I enjoy this?” or “Do I need this?” but “Will this honor God?” “Will it honor God for me to read this book?” “Will God be glorified if I date this person?” “Does watching this movie dishonor the Lord?” “Will I reflect badly on the Lord if I wear this dress?”

God has a stake in your moral purity. He has called you to purity, and he is greatly glorified when you walk in purity. Purity means living so that God’s reputation is enhanced by your personal choices. Purity comes with a high price tag. And the devil will fight you every step of the way. It’s not just lust that he uses against us. It’s the shame and guilt of what we’ve done, and the whispered fear. “What if others knew what you’ve been doing?” So we live in the shadowy realm of fear, worried that someone will find out the truth about us, desperately hoping for a way out. We will not get better until we decide to do whatever it takes to be pure before the Lord.

You can’t have clean hands until you decide to wash off the dirt. For most of us, purity will be a lifelong struggle and a battle that never ends. We will wrestle with the world, the flesh and the devil until the day we die. And sometimes we will fail. That’s a given. But by God’s grace we can get up and walk again. Purity is worth it because the pure in heart see God. They know him deeply, personally, intimately.

They have an inner peace that others do not have. They see God and know the comfort of his presence and the joy of his blessing. Purity will cost you a great deal, but it’s one investment you will never regret. When we walk in purity, God is greatly glorified and we are greatly satisfied.

So how do we do it?  I’m sure sometimes we feel as though there is no hope … that our society is so sexually charged that there is no way to turn the tide.

It’s true that our society is so sexualized but we must not surrender. There is hope. You can walk in purity. You can raise children who walk in integrity.

The Lord is with us. The Holy Spirit empowers us. So how do we really stay pure?

 

Two major ways I know..

  1. Guard your heart. Proverbs 4:23 says Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.

How do we guard our hearts?

By taking note of the things we see and the things we hear… Our eyes and ears are the gateways to our hearts.

Psalm 119:37 says, “Turn my eyes away from worthless things.”

Some people say It’s okay to look at a woman with lustful thoughts. It’s just eye candy.

This is how the enemy works. Candy is meant to be eaten. First you eye the candy, then you eat it.

And then it destroys you. Because it wasn’t really candy.

Everything you do in life starts from your heart.

 

  1. Flee. Flee from youthful lusts(II Timothy 2:22).

Many times the Bible tells to stand and fight, but when lust knocks at the door, we have only one command from the Lord: Flee! Run for your life!

Don’t wait, don’t even think about it. Find God’s “way of escape” (I Corinthians 10:13), and use it.

Fleeing may mean that you discontinue your Internet service, un-subscribe to DSTV , block certain people from your social media etc. When it comes to this area, truth is we are weak, that’s why God says “Run!” The devil is smarter and stronger than we are. He knows our weak points, and he knows our weak moments.  He’s got our fatal flaws all figured out. In your own strength, you are no match for the devil.

When temptation comes, in the form of a questionable website, a conversation you shouldn’t be having, a book or a movie or a music video that does not honor the Lord,  an invitation that you know you should not accept, don’t wait, don’t hesitate don’t look around to see if anyone is watching. Flee!

Turn off the TV.  Turn off the radio. Put down the book. Say no to the invitation.

Don’t listen to the joke, don’t pursue the illicit friendship, don’t re-read the DM

don’t reply the email, and don’t click on that link that leads you to a porn website. FLEE. Just FLEE!

Perhaps you have already blown it so badly that you feel there is no hope for you.

Perhaps you have not been faithful to your husband or wife, and you wonder, “What’s the use?” Maybe you were promiscuous in your younger days or possibly before you came to Christ. It may be that you have burning memories of recent moral failure. Is there any hope for you or must you remained stained and soiled for life? I have two answers to that question. The first is that sin always brings negative consequences. Nothing I can say will change that fact. And some sins bring large consequences that last for a lifetime. However, the second thing is that Jesus has something he wants to say to you- “Rise and walk!”

You can’t do a thing to change the past, and it’s a waste of time to try.

However, you can do something about the future. By God’s grace you can be clean and pure from this day forward.  You don’t have to live in guilt or fear or shame any longer. Just rise from the pit of shame and guilt the enemy has kept you in and walk in purity through grace.

 

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