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WHEN TOO MUCH INFORMATION RUINS A RELATIONSHIP.

WHEN TOO MUCH INFORMATION RUINS A RELATIONSHIP.

SMART PHONE, FOOLISH CHRISTIAN

One of the things that make for a great relationship is lack of secrecy, when there are no skeletons lurking in the shadows or cupboards of your lives, you will enjoy peace of mind in your relationship; but just like in everything in life, there should be a balance.

I heard an unfortunate story that prompted this post, a lady and a guy were in a relationship, they loved each other dearly and planned to get married in fact, the guy had already proposed and of course she said yes. They were both born again and even though the lady had led a questionable life before she became born again, her past only made her love God more. The guy had been born again all his life, you know the I-grew-up-in-the-church type who obviously loves God, very active in church and holds several offices. When the guy decided that he wanted to marry this particular lady, not everyone was excited but he said he knew his conviction and the lady made sure he knew about her past and that she had not been good all her life. The guy said the past was past and they should look towards the future together.

One beautiful day, they had just been on a date and he was going to drop her at home when the lady saw an old acquaintance, the dude was looking rough and unkempt but they hugged and exchanged pleasantries, she introduced him to her fiancé and he left. On their way, he asked who the guy was and she said he was an old boyfriend from her past; she then began to tell him the kind of life they used to live, drugs, wild sex and partying none stop. She ended her narrative by saying “He knows every inch of my body”.

The guy dropped her off at home but broke off the relationship a few days later, his reason was that he always knew she had a rough past but he could not get past the fact that someone else knew every inch of her body as she so succinctly put it.

The question is where did she go wrong, was she wrong  for talking about her past? No. Did she say more than was necessary or she was supposed? Yes. The bible says “wisdom is profitable to direct” and “there is a time to speak and a time to shut up”. What if she had stopped at “He’s and old boyfriend from my past”; the guy knew she had a sordid past and was still ready to marry her but when he gave her the details, he couldn’t get past it. Some might say the guy is immature and selfish but the lady was not wise as well.

As I stated earlier, there is balance to everything in life, you have to know what to say, when to say and how to say but above all else, we have the holy spirit who will always teach and guide us in all things if we let him, that is wisdom.

Written By Jesuseun Adebo. Worshipper, writer and a blogger who is passionate about impacting lives in unusual ways. Read more of her work here

Dear Christian Wife

Dear Christian Wife

SMART PHONE, FOOLISH CHRISTIAN (1)

“For your royal husband delights in your beauty; honour him, for he is your Lord. ” Psalms 45:11 (NLT)

I see you, I know you have fire for the lord. I SEE you and feel your desire to please the Lord. You spend endless hours in the house of God, doing what you believe is the right thing.

You value your pastors opinion over that your husbands.

In fact your pastors wife has more wisdom than your husband and she has said when you are fasting you should consecrate yourself to God, so no sex while fasting.

Your church says you should cover your hair, not wear trousers and not use extensions you do as they say but your husband desires that you do the opposite.

Be warned God is not mocked whatever you sow so shall you reap.

Your husband is your head and your Lord, If that statement alone makes you angry that is the spirit of jezebel at work. Trust me I have been there before.

Once you are married only your husband has the right to tell you what and what not to do. Let’s go to the word of God; the one time Sarah told Abraham what to do look at the disaster it caused, Ishmael was born. Why am I even going to that story lets start from the beginning when Eve told Adam what to do, look at the outcome. The world is still suffering from their self taught wisdom.

God created men to be kings and priests in their homes let them be! I see you spiritual mama; but once you are home with your family submit to your husband. You cannot be more holy than your husband.

There is an anointing on their head for Leadership, just keep praying for them to make the right decisions. It’s not easy but God will give you wisdom.

If your husband says he is too tired to go to church it’s ok to have service at home while he heads the service, God is everywhere.

Don’t always think you are the holiest one in the relationship just because you think or even see your husband do things that are not Christian like. They answer to God not you. You should not disrespect them with the excuse of trying to tell them off when they do wrong. Stop it.

Be submissive does not mean to be a slave; it means to be respectful, to understand and accept that your husband is Lord over you.

Except it is against THE WORD OF GOD (not your pastor, prophet or parents) whatever your husband says is right! It is only the word of God that remains the same, beware of teachers, preachers, prophets and false men of God that say they heard the spirit of God. Check every advice with the word of God. Your husband comes first! If it’s 4pm and you are still in church since 8am; if your husband is not the pastor you have no business in the church go home and cook for your husband.

Men like to be serviced, pampered and catered for. Take care of your man. Don’t give another woman access into your home.

Wisdom wisdom wisdom get wisdom!

Blessings×××

Keeping the love alive even after the babies

Keeping the love alive even after the babies

smart-phone-foolish-christian

Hello everyone and Happy New Year, may 2017 bring Joy all year round into our lives.

So let’s discuss ladies, how is the love affair with your husband’s? Hope you have not started calling him baba (insert child’s name) or daddy (insert child’s name) because that’s a problem.

When the children start rolling in we forget that our first priority is to our husbands; oh yes hubby come before the kids, but how do we put our ‘ogas at the top’ first without it feeling like a duty.

How do we make our husbands priority in love? How do we still treat them like we did while we were courting? Do they still have that special place in our hearts or have other things taken their place?

Here are a few tips that can help you treat hubby well:

  • If you are a newlywed/ expecting your first baby; then it’s important to discuss how you want to keep you love affair intact. Is it through weekly dinner/lunch dates, romantic weekend getaways or constant texting? Find something that works for you.
  • It’s important to discuss the sex life after delivery and birth control options please. I don’t know how to say this but sex is a major part of your marriage, forget what you know or you think you know. Men love sex don’t deprive them, even the good ones can only be deprived for so long. If you have issues with sex deal with it by talking to the right medical personnel. Don’t be shy to open up please; if you prefer to see a female doctor please request for one.
  • Seeking for domestic help is very important especially if you constantly feel overwhelmed and have a lot of meltdowns, but you need to apply wisdom when welcoming someone into your home to help in the day to day affairs. Pray about it seriously. It’s important that you and not the help cater directly to your family. The help is there to assist not take over from you.
  • Put your love affair with your husband first because your kids will grow and leave you all alone with your hubby.
  • Read articles and literature on how to make your relationship stronger and exciting. Try new and exciting things in and out of the bedroom. Do a surprise home alone arrangement take the kids to grandma, have sometime to yourselves, as a couple. Have fun and do what you used to do before the kids arrived.
  • Always look good for your hubby, even if you don’t go out, ensure you always look good when he gets back.
  • Educate yourself so you will constantly discuss things that will stimulate your hubby’s mind. Your spirituality, intelligence, appearance and character is key to keeping your marriage spicy.

Till next time stay blessed.

Written By Tosin Opara

I am the content Creator/Brand manager for “Deestylefairy”. I am passionate about family, parenting and personal development, which are the values that my brand represents.

WHAT REALLY IS CONTENTMENT IN MARRIAGE?

WHAT REALLY IS CONTENTMENT IN MARRIAGE?

 

smart-phone-foolish-christian-1

I saw a movie recently about a beautiful young lady married to a young handsome guy who were married and had 2 kids. They were wealthy and had all that money could buy the best of designer outfits and the best of cars and houses. Her friends envied her because to them she hit the “JACKPOT” when she married her husband. She had the best of everything they were dying to have. Unknown to her friends and her family, her husband was a drug lord and a murderer, hence the source of his immense wealth and she knew because she ran the business with him and cleaned any mess he left behind.

There was a time she tried to tell her best friend how unhappy she was but her friend brushed it aside saying with all the money she had, nothing should make her unhappy. She lived in perpetual fear of her husband, and the law catching up with him because of his heinous crimes and because she would go down with him and their children would suffer for it.

Recently I read an article about how Celebrities spend hours doing hair, makeup and the likes before going out, and if they want to go somewhere and don’t want the world to know, they have to take several detours and change cars, a journey of maybe 30mins takes hours all in an effort to ditch the paparazzi and if they are lucky enough the world. No privacy, limited freedom to do whatever because the world is watching. Have you ever wondered why a celeb makes a mistake and the whole world calls for their head while an average Joe makes the same mistake and no one hears? I bet some of them see fame as more of a burden than a blessing sometimes.

Don’t be quick to envy other people’s lives, the ones that look perfect might not be and if it truly is, then a lot of work has been done to get to where they are. You have no idea what a person did to get to where they are or what they are doing to maintain it. Be happy with what you have now and continue working to where you want to be, enjoy the present it goes away too fast, enjoy now on your way to the future you want. Don’t pressure your husband to get you something just because your friend has it.

Be satisfied with what he can provide now. If you are not happy with the level your husband is you should pray for him and help him become better. Never critcize him.Remember, godliness with contentment is great gain and they that compare themselves with themselves are not wise.

Contentment sometimes is being happy alone with yourself and not being in a bad relationship because you don’t want to be alone, contentment also means working through the challenges in your relationship or marriage instead of ditching your partner for someone who you think has more to offer. Proves right the phrase I have heard before “If the grass looks green on the other side, it is because was watered”. Water your own garden so you can eat from it when the time is right, you will reap from it.

Written By:

Written By Jesuseun Adebo. Worshipper, writer and a blogger who is passionate about impacting lives in unusual ways. Read more of her work here

Picture Credit : Google

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