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ETIQUETTE IS A BIG DEAL! PART 2

ETIQUETTE IS A BIG DEAL! PART 2

SMART PHONE, FOOLISH CHRISTIAN

Hey everyone! The last time I posted, I started a series on etiquette being a big deal. If you missed it kindly find the post here. 

Today I will highlight a few things your children must know as they grow up.

Has it happened to you before? Someone calls your phone number and in one breath asks, who am I speaking with? How did you feel? Not very pleased I’m sure. Telephone etiquette such as introducing yourself when you call someone is very important. Do not shout and if it happens that you did not initiate the call, don’t waste the caller’s money by prolonging the call unduly. Doing that is inconsiderate.

Children should be taught appreciation by saying “thank you” for every kind gesture. Far too many people go around with the entitlement….They believe the world owes them and so they grumble and whine when things don’t go their way. Such people are never fun to be with.

Bathroom/ Toilet etiquette. Teaching your children to knock and clean up after themselves is very important. . Let them know how to leave the toilet nice and clean for whoever would come in next.

Table etiquette. ‘Do not talk with your mouth wide open when you have food in your mouth’ is a basic rule. Make sure your mouth does not make so much noise. (That’s another thing you have to teach them) You should be able to take your children outside without fear that while they are chewing, there will be so much noise. Teach them to chew gently. It can be very embarrassing to sit at table with someone who does any of these things.

Social Etiquette could include not interrupting when others are talking and if you must, say “excuse me”.be polite.teach them punctuality. If you must be late, let the person you have an appointment with know that you have some constraints early enough. It is bad manners to keep others waiting. In actual fact you are stealing from them.

There are many more things they need to learn but this would definitely be a good start.

To you parenting success!

Written By

Folasade Adejoorin.

A mother,teacher,administrator, counselor, author and founder Leaps and Bounds Early Years. She is passionate about helping parents raise godly children in Christian homes.

The Right Heart

The Right Heart

SMART PHONE, FOOLISH CHRISTIAN (1)

The best deeds are the ones carried out, not just with the most generous acts but with the purest intentions. It pays to come to terms with the motives behind our actions, service and desires. Many times we may find that our motives are laced with self and ambition and not genuinely driven by love.

On the last day, when our works are brought before the Lord, the works that will stand; tried and tested are the ones that have been done in love.

As at today, there are organizations, initiatives and even businesses springing up as the days go by, one question that often comes to mind is – whether the motive behind such organizations isright, because so many people do the right things with the wrong motive all in the name of “creating impact” or “meeting a need”, even when the goals and profit from the organizations, businesses are achieved,true satisfaction comes from having the right heart towards the cause with no hidden agenda for fame or money, with no ulterior motive for seeking validation and recognition.

The right heart is propelled by love, driven by kindness and directed by God. Being at the center of God’s will is only the beginning of having the right heart, it takes carrying out every instruction as His will unfolds with the mind of Christ (Philippians 2:6-8) who made Himself of no reputation and took upon Him the form of a SERVANT, and was made in the likeness of men.

We are actually servants called to the noble cause to serve our generation and in whatever way that service comes, we need to totally and  humbly let our hearts be under the scrutiny of the Holy spirit all the way, as we take the posture of submission and constant consecration.

Written By

Olajumoke Afolarin

This is how to help your child adjust to a new school

This is how to help your child adjust to a new school

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Adjusting to the routine of going back to school particularly after a long holiday is stressful enough for many kids. But when your child has to resume school in a completely different environment from the one he is used to, it is a new ballgame altogether. The child is confronted with adjusting to new people including teachers and pupils, new structures, and a new system of doing things.

A child may have to change school for different reasons such as relocation of parents from one neighbourhood to another, the decision of parents to opt for a better school , transition from a junior school to a higher one and so on. The (circumstances) that occasioned the change of school determine how quickly your child adjusts to his new environment.

For example a child that has to leave his home to go live with someone else due to loss of a parent or divorce of his parents might not easily settle down. The child’s temperament and nature is also a factor. Some children are by nature more outgoing than others and so are more willing to explore a new environment.

Prepare your child’s mind well ahead of an impending change. Your child may not understand all the details but you need to explain to him. It’s all about him or her, remember?

You can take him along on a tour of the new school. When the child is acquainted with the facilities and some of the people he will meet in the coming term, it makes it less scary for him.

If the school is in a neighbourhood close to your home, you may choose to make enquiries about some families that have their children in that school. If after all your findings you feel satisfied that your child is safe to make friends with their kids it’s welcome. At least your child is sure that he’s got an ally whenever school resumes.

Help your child settle down by also checking in on him to know how well he is coping in the new school. Ask him questions on his new friends, his relationship with his teacher (s).

You can as well check with his teacher to find out their opinion on how well your child is settling down. Hopefully, the feedback from the child and the teachers will be a positive one. But just in case it is not you might need to have a continuous talk with your child. Watch out that your child is not being bullied or molested in his new environment.

Make the change attractive for the child. Some new school supplies other than than the ones he’s used to might even make him feel it is worth the while. Be enthusiastic about the change yourself. Even though your child is the one to attend a new school, there’s a likelihood that even you as the parent is anxious to see that your choice goes well for the sake of your child. Your enthusiasm  can be infectious for the  child and raise his optimism about the school.

Lastly, I encourage you to plan ahead, get your acts together and settle your child and the whole family into a routine that works. Early in the morning isn’t the time for you to run around the house or your street, looking for bread or eggs to buy. Things like their socks, homework, and other school supplies should be ready before going to bed.

The meals for breakfast and the lunch for school should be got ready on time. If you leave home early enough and avoid the traffic, your child can get to school and settle down to take his classes and participate in other school activities. But a child who arrives late to school is likely to be even more anxious.

Are you wondering that this parenting stuff is a lot of work? Just chill. Very soon, you will  be over that phase.

Written By Folasade Adejoorin

A mother,teacher,administrator, counselor and author. She is passionate about helping parents raise godly children in Christian homes.

Why a personal brand is important and three ways to get it.

Why a personal brand is important and three ways to get it.

SMART PHONE, FOOLISH CHRISTIAN

When people hear your name or see your picture, what thought would you like to come to their mind? What would you like people to associate you with? This is what a personal brand is about.

Personal Branding, is the unique nature, design, character, trait, reputation that belongs to a person. It is how you want others to see you, how you portray yourself and what you want to be known for.

It is that thing that you would love people to say about you, when they see your picture or hear your name.  When you hear Funto Ibuoye, what do you think? ‘Purpose, God lover, Worth/ Value’. When you hear Tara Fela- Durotoye, you think ‘Entrepreneur, Motivational speaker, Makeup’ e.t.c. that is their brand, it is how they have portrayed themselves for people to see. It doesn’t necessarily have to do with their career.

Some people have a personal brand without even knowing but this can be dangerous, especially if its a negative brand.

Personal branding has to do with how you see or carry yourself and how you can appreciate yourself for who God created you to be. You can’t really be the person God created you to be if you don’t appreciate and see yourself the way God sees you.

So, I guess the next question is how do I build a personal brand, how do I portray myself the way God wants me to be seen?

  1. Realize that you are your own unique self.

You don’t have to be like somebody else. You don’t have to look like anybody else. God made you the way you are with the face you have, body you have, character and behaviour. The Bible says “You know me inside out, You know every bone in my body; You know exactly how I was made, bit by bit, how I was sculpted from nothing into something” (Psalm 139:15, Msg), this goes to show how special you are. You have to learn to accept you. You don’t need to compare yourself with any other person but Jesus. Apart from your character the only other character traits you need are in Jesus, so LOVE & ACCEPT yourself. Strong personal brands have to be true to the personality involved. Don’t try to portray yourself in a way that you are not. You personal brand should be unique to you.

  1. Discover your strengths & weakness

You need to identify your areas of strengths and weakness. Everyone has something they are good at but if you don’t identify yours you may envy someone else. Discover your strength, develop it and become a better you.  Find ways to work on your weaknesses too, you don’t want them crushing the great personal brand you have built.

  1. Develop your Self confidence.

A good personal brand isn’t to be able to portray yourself well, you need to have self confidence. You need to be confident in the woman God has made and called you to be. This comes with discovering yourself, believing who God made you to be and accepting that person.

 

Written By Feyisayo Daramola a twenty-one year old Chemical Engineer, a God lover and aspiring speaker. I’m interested in women and youth development. I love smiling and putting smiles on people’s faces. I’m also an avid reader and newbie at writing.

 

IS BEAUTY TRULY IN THE EYES OF THE BEHOLDER?

IS BEAUTY TRULY IN THE EYES OF THE BEHOLDER?

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About a week ago, I was at a church programme with some colleagues most of whom were guys. A lady walked towards the area where we were seated, and immediately she passed, most of my colleagues had this awful look on. I wondered what made them look at her with such disgust so I tapped the guy closest to me in search of answers. He replied:

She is not fine at all mehn! And she is walking with so much pride as if she is beautiful.

I casually laughed his comment off but deep down there were lots of questions running through my mind:

1: What was their judgement of the lady beauty based on?

2: What exactly do we refer to as beautiful?

3: What is on this lady’s inside that makes her walk with so much grace even though she most likely knew that many guys wouldn’t consider her their kind of beautiful just like my colleagues didn’t.

4: Is beauty really in the eyes of the beholder or the beholdee??

Well, the truth is this,

Beauty is much more than our outward appearances! (I’m sure we have heard that several times already, Lol).

With the landmark set on what a beautiful girl should look like on Instagram, Snapchat and several other Social media platforms, it’s difficult to find people who see true beauty for what it really is.

My colleagues were apparently just concerned about the lady’s physical appearance. They were ignorant of the fact that beauty is much more than what the physical eyes can see, at least that is what 1Peter 3:4-6 tells us.

The problem with many young ladies in our generation is that we tend to seek validation from people especially on whether we look beautiful or not. Many even begin to spend above their earnings to acquire things that will make them look cool for the ‘Gram (Queen Slayers).

Some even go as far as doing plastic surgeries not as a corrective measure for some defect that affects their health but to make their body look more “beautiful” to its beholder.

BREAKING NEWS!!!

Beauty is not in the eyes of the beholder!

At least that’s not where it starts from.

Beauty starts from within…

When you begin to feel and see yourself as beautiful, it doesn’t matter what any other person thinks, you’d carry yourself with so much grace and ambience that will make people with a shallow perspective of what beauty means begin to wonder what it is you carry that makes you so proud (just like my colleagues, lol.)

The lady at the programme that day probably knew who she truly is on her inside. She knew she was much more than what her physical appearance looks like.

She probably understood that even though she didn’t have the figure eight and “on fleek” body every random guy will desire, she was beautiful to God!

She understood that she was made in Christ’s image and as such she was perfectly beautiful.

We must understand that our beauty isn’t based on what man thinks of us.

It is about what God says we are; and the bible tells us that we are fearfully and wonderfully made!

Once we begin to feel beautiful on our inside, it begins to reflect on our outside and hence, it’ll become visible to as many that behold us.

Beauty is not what people see when they look at your physical attributes…

True beauty is how and what you feel on your inside about who you are!

If you ask me, I will say true beauty isn’t in the eyes on the beholder…

It is in the mind of the Beholdee!

P.S Just in case you are wondering what Beholdee means; it refers to the carrier of a beautified personality ***Winks***

Written by

Igbukolu Tobehukwu Yvonne, a well-motivated mass communicator, cinematographer and writer.

I am the very visual representation of God’s love and I have a passion for getting the message of God’s love and grace to people around the world especially through my write-ups.

YOUR INTEGRITY MATTERS

YOUR INTEGRITY MATTERS

smart-phone-foolish-christian

Integrity is defined as the quality of being honest and having high moral standards. In the course of writing this article, I will be using the words integrity and trust interchangeably as the foundation of trust is integrity.
In business, long term relationships are built on the foundation of integrity (trust). If people trust you, they will consistently do business with you. Many times, people overlook tribal sentiments when trust is a common denominator.
As a business owner/entrepreneur, with integrity you can easily attract capital as one of the ‘Cs’ of lending is ‘Character’ (Integrity).
My former Chancellor (Dr David Oyedepo) would always say, “Charisma may take you to the top, but character will keep you there.” In business, your credibility will affect your profitability.
Before the consolidation of the Nigerian banking sector, most banks seemed to have trust in their names e.g. Equatorial Trust Bank, Guaranty Trust Bank, Standard Trust Bank, Fountain Trust Bank, All States Trust Bank and the list goes on and on. They knew the importance of communicating the word ‘trust’ to the average customer.
I will like to end with a quote by Shiv Khera about the essence of character, “Character is what you won’t do, even if you know you wouldn’t get caught. Some people are honest because they don’t want to get caught telling lies- They are doing the right thing for the wrong reasons. Whereas some people are honest because they believe it is the right thing to do- They are doing the right thing for the right reasons.”

Written By Howard Derex-Briggs

Inspirational speaker/ human capital development consultant

How well do you handle criticism?

How well do you handle criticism?

 

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I’m pretty sure we’ve all been there, at one point of our lives or the other, where it seems like everyone is against us. I remember growing up as the last of three children, I often felt like “no one understood me” especially when it seems I was  the only one on my own side of the ‘team’ (as though life was a game)and I never stood a chance against my ‘opponents’ who always had strong scores to put up against my wimpy tantrums.

Lucky for me, I know better now. I’ve been able to draw the line between noteworthy corrections and disposable criticism.

Our attitude to correction shows how open we are to change, so many times we feel we are actually doing things right, until the lens through which we see gets slightly adjusted by another with a better perspective. It is not always about being right or wrong,the thing is- as purpose driven women, let’s learn to put our guards down and pick up corrections that are sure to guarantee that we stay relevant where God has prepared for us.

Yes; the form and manner in which corrections come could be harsh or maybe offensive, there’s no nice way to package the truth, it always stings. And yes; it so happens at times that there’s this one thing in you that ‘everyone’ points out as a major flaw. Deal with it. Stop thinking the whole universe is against you or that nobody likes you. Although,it is acknowledged thatthere are fault finders, people who always seem to rain on your parade, which makes it all the more important that we learn to weigh out the harsh truth from the spiteful words.

Are you committed to a lifelong journey of relevance?

Do you really want to keep that hashtag Queenin’ beyond the display? – be sure to stay teachable and open to correction.

Written By:

Jumoke Afolarin

Let your children play

Let your children play

 

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I remember my childhood with nostalgia in the serene neighborhood of Oluyoro Street in Bodija, Ibadan. We played ehn, I mean we really played. Don’t get me wrong ooo, we also worked hard. We did house chores, had lesson teachers, read a lot but we really did play hard.

I know many of them are no longer in fashion sha but some of the things we did were ‘Suwe’ , which  the Oyinbos call hop-step-and- jump, ten- ten, hide and seek, card and board games and skipping (I was such a poor skipper then). Lol.

Okay, back to the matter… A child learns through different avenues and play is one of them. Playtime for kids is not a waste of time unlike what many parents believe especially if it is done in a constructive manner. It allows them be creative while developing their imagination and sensory skills. Their physical and cognitive skills are developed while emotional development is also enhanced.  Play is in fact very crucial to healthy brain development.

One advantage is that it helps your child develop his social skills. During play, your child learns to share his toys and thus builds team spirit as he plays other kids of his age. He learns to negotiate the language and communication skills also improve.

Parents Carrying Child

Playing with sand and water is one inexpensive way your child can play. Have you noticed that most children are almost always naturally attracted to sand and water? They want to splash, touch, run their fingers through, pour or sift it. You can give them funnels, sieves, bottles and so onto make it more fun. Kids can also grasp mathematical skills such as measurement as they cook, build castles and stories around it and just generally explore. There’s no end to what they can do with sand.

Most parents prevent them from touching sand or water. Why? They don’t want them to get dirty. Parents are also afraid that the children could mess up floors. But you can ask the child to join in the clean-up. He then learns another great lesson. That is to be responsible enough to clean up after himself.

One other way of making playtime constructive is by playing with your child. Hello??? Did you just tell me to play with my child? Oh yeah, you heard right. Play!!! Yes, go ahead. Just do it! A lot of us parents get so busy that they do not even have time to play with their kids anymore. We race and hurry through life and don’t even spare some time to see how they are faring with their school work, emotionally and in other areas let alone play with them.

However, make sure you don’t go to the extreme of dictating how your child should play. Remember it is all about the child and the ability to be creative even with play. He should be able to determine the direction and path of his play.

Written By

Folasade Adejoorin.

A mother,teacher,administrator, counselor and author. She is passionate about helping parents raise godly children in Christian homes.

Your child is not a dunce

Your child is not a dunce

 

smart-phone-foolish-christian

I remember vividly as a kid back in primary school I was tagged  “olodo” hehe. Mehn I found it difficult to comprehend anything (except story books). In Grade3 while walking hand in hand down the corridor with my then best friend, Tolu; my class teacher called my best friend, I will never forget her. He asked Tolu; how come Tosin is your friend and she still gets low grades?  Tolu was the best student in the class (first position every time) She looked distraught as a kid she felt she should do something about it, so she told me to sit next to her in class and copy her answers yep she wanted my grades to be better.

I did try to copy her,  but I could not see the numbers or letters on her book. I was next to her but her writings were blurred.

At that time I was too young to understand I needed glasses. I could not complain at home as my mum was strict and already concluded that i was lazy and playful plus I lied a lot( shhhhh)

I struggled my way through primary school.

When I got to college I had people telling me I should go see an optician because I clearly had eye issues. After my first term in Jss1 I knew I had to say something, I came out 19th out of 90 students in the class.

That was my first taste of success  ( yeah 19th out of 90 students was actually a big deal to me) I desired more so I had to speak up.

I told my dad; my mum still being the African strict mother took me to see the optician but warned me sternly not to lie she promised to whoop my behind if my results where negative ahhh. Throughout that test i was shaking like a leaf, the optician bless her heart had to repeat the test like 3times.

Long and short of the story after I got my glasses, I was always within 1st to 3rd position at a point 1st and 2nd not to brag.  haha.

What’s the lesson here? Most times as parents we always believe we know it all especially as regards academics. To tell you the truth the education system in Nigeria is whack. I think that Nigeria’s academic system is designed only for those who can cram.

Let’s be actively involved in our kid’s academics no child is born a failure or dunce we just have to work out the greatness in them. Train them to know because knowledge is power and help them to retain that knowledge. I remember a biography of a great person I once read. It said that the teacher wrote to the parent saying that the boy’s case was hopeless and that he should be taken to a special school. The mother trashed the letter and home schooled her son. She told him every day that he was smart. Today his story is different.

Kids will believe whatever you say.

What do you say to your kids? Do you have time for their academics?

Let your child believe that they are the best through your eyes and words and trust me they will be the best.

No child is a dunce, but  each needs something different to thrive.  Find out what your child needs

Written By

Tosin Opara

I am the content Creator/Brand manager for “Deestylefairy”. I am passionate about family, parenting and personal development, which are the values that my brand represents.

MORE THAN JUST A PRETTY FACE

MORE THAN JUST A PRETTY FACE

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Who doesn’t want to be beautiful? Not sure I’d find anyone. Most of us spend so much money buying powder, foundations, lipsticks and other fashion items just  to make sure we slay, but how many of us pay attention to our minds?

Not so many people. Well today, I’m going to give us three sure fire ways of making sure our mind is as pretty as our face. Ready?

A Beautiful Mind Can Only be Built in Christ!

Only Jesus Christ can help us build a mind of beauty. He is the definition of beauty inside-out hence it’s only wisdom to learn how to build a beautiful mind from Beauty, Himself.

Christ helps us renew our minds, making it conform to His word thereby leading us to living a transformed life. (Romans12:2)

If you desire to have a mind that radiates beauty even to your outer man, then there are no two ways to it. You need Christ! Only Him can aid a beautified mind build-up!

You need to have a WORKing WALK with Him. And He’ll help you in your “Beauty- Mind building” Course. *winks*

NO! NEGATVITY!!!

This is another important factor to a Beautiful mind build- up.

You ALWAYS have to CONSCIOUSLY say no to negativity!

It’s has to be positive vibes only all the time! We must be mindful of the kind of things that enter our minds through what we see, hear and speak. We must guard the doorways to our minds at all times, filtering out every negativity and giving room to only positivity.

We must consciously filter out negative songs, ideas, concepts as they do not help in the build up of a beautiful mind. I say consciously because there will be times you are not into all thee positive talk but you must not let it get to you.

INVEST IN YOUR MIND

Yes! Just as we tend to invest so much on the things we wear and use to accessorize our body, it is imperative that we also invest in our minds.

I’m sure you’re wondering how to do this. Well, one way to is by investing in books! Good books! Books that edify. The more you read, the more enlightened you are.. The more enlightened you are, the more beautiful your mind becomes.

One of my favourite quotes goes thus:

What distinguishes Man A from Man B asides Grace is information

You cannot afford to be ignorant of some certain things as a lady. Books are carriers of information. Good books are carriers of good information that can help build up a beautiful mind.

I’ll stop here for this post but feel free to suggest other ways by which we can build up a beautified mind in the comment section,

Gracias.

Igbukolu Tobechukwu

 Mass communicator, cinematographer and writer. I am the very visual representation of God’s love and I 
have a passion for getting the message of God’s love and grace to people around the world. 
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