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A BIRTHDAY GIFT TO MY UNBORN DAUGHTER

A BIRTHDAY GIFT TO MY UNBORN DAUGHTER

SMART PHONE, FOOLISH CHRISTIAN

Dear Tamar,

Mummy just turned 27 and I am so excited at what the New Year brings. I know you may be wondering why I am writing to you, especially since you aren’t here yet and I’m not exactly sure when you will come but my precious daughter, this is my heartfelt birthday gift to you. I haven’t met you but I already feel a great sense of responsibility to share with you the amazing experience God has taken mummy through. I know Jesus will read this to you for me in preparation for your arrival and please feel free to always use this gift as an encouraging reminder as you journey through life. You see just like you, mummy was once a child. Born into this world with no clue as to what to expect as the days and the years rolled by. One thing for sure is that during your early stages, mummy and daddy with the sole help of God will be there to hold your hands to guide you through. We will impact by God’s amazing grace the right seeds that you will need to survive in this harsh world.

My precious Tamar, there is only so much mummy can do and as you begin to evolve into the woman that God has called you to be, your once one sided mind accustomed to the choices of mummy and daddy will now be divided. There is a naughty man called the devil who will take it upon himself to mislead you and show you attractive options which may seem good for you but not right for you in the sight of God your Father. I would never lie to you and I won’t start now but please listen to me. You may fall! Not once, not twice, not the number of times I can write on several pages of this letter. That’s the hard truth and I deeply feel your heart my love. I know how desperately you would want to please God, mummy and daddy but life may not make it easy for you to do so. You see there’s a particular area I want to focus on here. I’m focusing on this because no matter how the world may try to water it down in your time before your eyes, you must know that most of us were created to optimally function in twos. This has been the case from the very beginning of time, with Adam & Eve. We were created to be relational in nature and it’s absolutely normal that as you grow, you will start to attract and be attracted by the opposite sex. My sweet daughter, please do not be afraid, it’s absolutely normal. Although I will strive to be a mother that will be your confidant after God, you may not want to share some of these things with me. You may feel all alone in your feelings sometimes, which may cause you to make decisions that seem right in your own beautiful understanding. Now while I will pray to be able to control situations that I can, the ones out of my control will be between you and our heavenly father Jesus. May I plead with you that you carefully and diligently seek Him as you begin to grow into your own purposeful woman?

Tamar darling, I cannot emphasize enough the importance in putting Jesus first before making those drastic decisions. I am not saying that you shouldn’t explore and learn from experiences which will create the best version of you but life is so much easier when Jesus has His stamp of approval on your footsteps. My dearest daughter, it’s never too early to start even though the world will paint a different picture to you. You may wonder how and why this is so important to mummy. Well I love you so much Tamar that I am extremely grateful to God that I made mistakes in my time which will become testimonies in yours. I just heard you ask why I won’t allow you make your own mistakes. My princess Tamar, it’s not your fault that you have such a question and that’s exactly how I would feel if I had my mum tell me these. My sweet daughter, there are mistakes that you can absolutely do without. Now this is not to say that God doesn’t use our mistakes to push us to His amazing purpose for our lives. He does and as a matter of fact that is why He is a beautiful Father who makes all things work together for our good. Both the good and bad steps! But do you know that there will be consequences for your actions my love? These consequences are powerful enough to change the entire course of your life and destiny. This is why it is so important to carry Jesus along in the littlest details of your life.

Mummy honestly wishes that she could write the story of your life from the time you are born till your last day on earth but I do not have that power. Come to think of it, it will be extremely scary to have that power because in the grand scheme of things, I do not know what is best for you. The seeming intelligence of my mind is absolute foolishness unto God. My thought out imaginations and plans for you or even the plans you will have for yourself is only like a drop of water in the mightiest ocean of God’s plan for you. Let mummy use herself as an example. You see, mummy wanted to get married at the age of 25 with all her children born by the age of 30 latest. I laugh at myself now Tamar my love. Mummy is now 27 and not married, although Daddy is very much in her life right now. I thought my life was all planned out until God stepped in and put a spin to it. I could have still achieved my 25 year marriage plan but Tamar I do not think I will be writing this letter to you if I did. I cannot imagine what my life would have been like. It will have taken a totally different turn away from God’s will and purpose for my life. Who knows, your name won’t even have been Tamar. By the way, I love your name so much because it means that you will flourish and thrive in all seasons of your entire life. You see, mummy’s heart was broken many times in her short time on earth. So many times! Love is free my darling but only a few can give it the way God has intended that you should be loved. Just like mummy you will come across many who will offer you different variations of what love looks and feels like. Don’t be easily swayed! Many of them will feel right but will lack the very substance of the kind of love Jesus wants you to experience.

My princess, they will never stand the test of time. May I ask that you please remain guarded by God’s word and never feel pressured to make any decision without wholeheartedly and patiently consulting your father Jesus? Tamar, do not let anyone tell you otherwise. You are unexplainably priceless and you deserve the very best standard of love. My daughter you must actively seek to experience God’s unconditional love for you and that way, you can easily identify the perfect will of God for your life. The thought of the depths of God’s love I feel as I write this letter to you brings me close to tears. This is the only gift I can give to you as your mother and it is far more valuable than anything that your mind can ever comprehend. Listen to me carefully; Tamar you must know Jesus for yourself. Please my daughter, allow Him take you on the best journey that you will ever go through. Let Him uniquely express Himself to you in a way that no one on the surface of this earth has ever experienced. Do not let anyone paint a picture they personally have of Jesus to you. Those are only guidelines but the imprint of Jesus on your heart should be unique to you just like your finger prints. No one else on the surface of this earth has it my sweetheart. Tamar mummy experienced this last year. After 26 years of barely scratching the surface, God visited me. After all the heartaches and disappointments, He answered mummy’s prayer in giving her life partner, your priceless daddy. Just like Jesus who gives us exceedingly, abundantly, above all that we can ever ask or imagine, He brought daddy with so many life changing blessings that it broke mummy to the point of humility at God’s grace and mercy. Why is this important? I feel you asking. Well Tamar, if I could be given the chance to come back to earth from scratch just like you, with the knowledge of what my 26th year will bring, I will wait! Yes I know that sounds scary but baby my 25 previously lived years on earth are nothing compared to what I’ve experienced in 1 year since I’ve found Jesus intimately for myself.

You will learn that some have it different and have to wait longer or shorter but my love God doesn’t work with our time. He works with our purpose! Everyone’s story will be different but one thing will always be the same till the end of time and that’s Jesus. Looking back, all the cold tears, depression, lonely thoughts, hopeless thoughts, emotional instability, immorality and compromise in those years were not worth my struggle. Although they have carved me into being who I am now, the road would probably have been less painful. I fought and disliked God so much during these years for my own will and not His. Now I bow absolutely face down, flat on the ground at God’s amazing miracle in my life. It was all worth the pain. This blessing is the reason why I can write this letter to you my love.

I’m not perfect Tamar neither is the life around me, and I know for sure that God did not bless me because of my perfection but because He chose to. Sometimes it brings me to tears at the thought of why He chose to bless me and love me unexplainably. As a matter of fact, mummy still has many struggles and battles that keep her constantly on her knees for Jesus but His joy speaks louder than any pain. All I plead is that you let your heart sit in the palm of His hands were you get to deeply appreciate Him for who He is. It is important you get it right Tamar. Please never ever judge the world but also don’t feel at home in this world. In your generation, let God use you as an example of what the mighty power of two can be. I pray that God keeps me till your wedding day when I will smile knowing that you made the right decision, the Jesus decision.

Life will not be perfect baby, it will be bumpy, there will be tears, you will be stretched, you will have scary thoughts, and you will doubt Jesus and entertain fear several times. These are realities that mummy is preparing you for. But unlike mummy, you can handle these differently by focusing on Jesus and learning to trust Him right from the very start of your life. I’m here to help you always baby, but I can only go so far! Forever run to Jesus and no one else for all the help that you will ever need. No one can ever make you who you are Tamar, only Jesus! Never forget this. You will never be alone in this life long race. I love you my precious daughter and the Lord knows I can’t wait to meet you. It is an honour and one of my greatest achievements to be the first to introduce Jesus to you. With all the love in my heart, Mummy

 

This letter was written by Isiuwa Ikponmwosa.

Beautified Etiquette: When Death Happens.

Beautified Etiquette: When Death Happens.

SMART PHONE, FOOLISH CHRISTIAN

Hello Beautified Lady,

Today’s post is on a very sensitive issue. We thank God for life and all its blessings and pray that we and our loved ones live long, purposeful lives. But what do we do when death happens? How we conduct ourselves around those that are grieving goes a long way in helping them cope with their loss as well as commence the healing process.

I will give a scenario and we’ll take off from there. (P.S I’ve snapped my fingers, thrown them over my head and said “God forbid” in advance for you)

You are asleep at 4am one lovely Saturday morning when your phone rings. It’s your family friend Abike, her voice is trembling and she informs you that she has just lost her mother who had been living with her family to a chronic illness.

You sit up in shock and try to find the words to say. “Abike, I’m so sorry, it is well, I can only imagine how you feel, God knows best”

Abike doesn’t reply, you can hear her sobbing now and people wailing in the background, the line goes dead. You are still sitting in bed sad and confused. What should you do?

  • Visit as soon as you can.

This applies more to close friends and family. Go over to the home of the deceased and offer your sympathies as well as assistance in any way you can (e.g funeral plans, babysitting the family’s children, cooking etc).

NOTE: keep your visit as brief as possible.

  • Talk but BE SENSITIVE:

Introduce yourself to the family if you were an acquaintance of the deceased but not well known to the family.

Say kind words about the deceased, do not feel as if you must avoid talking about the person who died. Most families may not want to hear “it is God’s will or he/she is in heaven now” from you at that time, be sensitive and keep those thoughts in your heart. Avoid tales of “had I known” or “it could have been me”.

  • Pray with the family.
  • Do not have expectations on how the grieving family should behave:

Loss is a terrible thing, there are different stages of grief and different ways of dealing with grief. Understand and respect this.

Some may curse, scream or ask God questions, as much as possible allow them to express their feelings; they aren’t necessarily looking for a response from you, a simple “I understand” or a touch will suffice.

Do not expect them to engage in conversations, entertain you, Dobale for the elders or mourn quietly. ALL YOU NEED TO DO IS BE THERE and ensure they do not cause harm to themselves or others.

  • Bring a meal along if you can.

I believe this depends on your intimacy with the family of the deceased. Those grieving may forget, refuse or be too busy to eat but they are human and need to eat to survive. So, bring a meal (not snacks) along for the family. You may bring some snacks along to entertain visitors.

  • Send flowers, a card or an email. It is a show of concern especially for those who are not intimate with the family.
  • If invited for the funeral, stay informed about the plans and respect the family’s wishes. Some families request a certain dress code, no flowers, no wailing or no extra guests, comply with them and be on time for all the events.
  • Always sign your name in the condolence register, it is important to note your company/church affiliation if the family may not otherwise know you.
  • At the funeral it is not mandatory to view the body, but if the family offers it, it is customary to show your respect by viewing the deceased.
  • After the funeral, keep in touch.

Call, text, visit occasionally, offer some support if you can and invite them for social events (even if they may not attend). Remember the special days. The first Christmas, anniversary or birthday without the deceased may bring back memories and grief. Do remember the family at that time and send gifts/messages.

Written by

Chiamaka Anne Meremikwu.  A doctor in training with a passion for God, humanity and literature.

She is an introverted-extrovert and she strives to make life as fun and easy as possible for as many as she can. If you don’t find her harassing her friends or grooving to some Igbo gospel music.

Read more of her work here

SHE READS: MOVING FROM FEAR TO FREEDOM BY GRACE FOX

SHE READS: MOVING FROM FEAR TO FREEDOM BY GRACE FOX

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Hi beautified ladies, welcome to another edition of the SHE READS segment of the blog where we read and review a book monthly sharing lessons and striking points learnt.

A woman’s guide to peace in every situation

Fear is a very familiar companion to every woman or lady. It’s a normal struggle and only a few dare to admit it, because we are afraid to. We are scared others would think less of us if we do.

You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop and look fear in the face. We can face fear head-on or use it as a tool that can empower us by drawing us into a deeper understanding of who God is.

Ultimately, we know deeply that on the other side of every fear is a freedom. The solution to overcoming fear is not positive self talk or a greater effort to control your own behaviour or the behaviour of others. The solution is a broken humility and trust in a sovereign, engaged and loving God.

Living in fear is like piggybacking a huge weight, one that we are not meant to carry. We have a choice of casting our fears and worries to God “Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you” I Peter 5:7(NIV) or choose to bear the burden of fear ourselves. The first response promises joy, the latter produce jitters. When we do what God tells us to do, the burden falls away. Freedom replaces bondage and rest replaces the pain that comes from the anticipation of evil.

It would be nice if we could simply erase situations that cause fear, deleting them as if they were emails in our inbox. But it’s not as easy as that most times. At such points we need to learn to rest. Rest on God’s promises and unfailing presence. He said He will never leave you nor forsake you. Hebrews 13:5b.

It’s normal for to be moms or already moms to be concerned about our kids. We want the best for them, we want them to be safe and free from the consequences of other people’s evil choices and from negative circumstances beyond their control – we fear for their well-being. We are scared when they go out alone with friends or when they enrol in a new school.

Let’s take a break and meet a wonderful mum in the Bible, Hannah. She suffered years of shame and depression without a child. She finally gets one and in her bid to fulfil her vow to God, after the weaning process, she gives that child back to God’s service all the days of his life. She’d have the chance to see him only once in a year. Needless to add that the priest she was leaving her son with had no stellar reputation for raising great kids (I Samuel 2:12, 13). But Hannah placed her focus on God, trusting that He who gave her the child would keep him. Samuel became one of Israel’s greatest prophets.

We need to understand that God has a plan for every child He has/ will give us the privilege to parent. We should not out of fear or ‘care’ stand in God’s way. The most we can do is constantly pray them to God and watch Him perfect the rest. Try as we might, we can never guarantee their safety, but we can guarantee that they are never beyond the realm of God’s presence. Their lives are in God’s hands- the One who loves them more than we ever could and who has eternal purposes far beyond our comprehension. He simply asks us to trust Him.

Basing our security on things that can vanish in a flash leads only to hardship. Their disappearance leaves us wrestling with anger, bitterness and fear. But if we hold our belongings (wealth, possessions, fame, etc) loosely and base our security in God, trusting in His promised presence and help, we experience freedom that cannot be shaken regardless of what happens; and that confidence is a blessing no one can steal.

There is no way to live without fear; nevertheless, it is possible to live beyond fear. Even those of us who have faith and who trust in God are going to find ourselves in scary situations. We need to learn to appropriate for our lives the reassurance of those words the Lord repeats so often in the Gospels, “Don’t be afraid. Fear not”.

When scary situations come our way, it’s normal to have an initial response of fear. Our hearts pound and our thoughts bing-bang in every direction, concocting every possible negative outcome. That’s when we are faced with a choice, to allow fright consume and control us, or do as God says “fear not”

Whether we are filled with confidence or fear depends on the kind of thoughts that habitually occupy our minds. If we want to stand against the storm of life, we need to prepare by occupying our minds with thoughts of God’s awesome power and strength, His love for His children, His ability to do the impossible, His compassion for those who hurt and His wisdom that exceeds our understanding. We need to familiarize ourselves with biblical accounts that show what He’s done in the past and reveal His promises for the present and future. We must also recall His faithfulness and mighty acts we’ve already witnessed or experienced.

Doing these things guarantees a prepared heart when the storms hit.

Gaze at the promises, glance at the problems. Remember, God is faithful. He’ll always see us through.

Prayer

Father, I praise You because You are sovereign. I’m grateful that You, the blessed controller of all things, are my helper. I have every reason to be confident and not be dismayed. I will do whatever You ask, and I know that I will triumph. When the storm rages and all appear black around me, I will trust and rely on You. Amen.

10 Tips Every Parent Should Know

10 Tips Every Parent Should Know

 

parenting

It is very easy to get carried away as a parent. We seem to have a lot of things to  do- house chores, work, church activities, but all these things are obviously not as important as our kids.

I find myself consciously making efforts to pay attention to my children. Once I feel like I have not spent so much time with them, I CREATE the time.

It is important to find a balance between our everyday responsibilities and caring for these precious gifts.

Here are 10 tips you need to know-

  • Give your child your ears and eyes when he is speaking to you. I am guilty of listening and doing something else. When kids are talking it’s best to maintain eye contact so you can read their body language. There is always more to what they are saying.
  • Spend time doing activities that would encourage interaction with them. It is the best way to know everything and anything about your children. When children are relaxed and happy they tend to spill anything without feeling like we are barging them with questions. Ensure the activities are what they love.
  • Act, do not react. Whenever your kids do something wrong, take time out to think of the best way to discipline them. Try to understand why he/ she did what they did; there is always a reason. Correct if necessary.
  • Always give reasons before you discipline your child. That way they learn their lesson. Let’s not assume they do it on purpose. No child is naughty on purpose.
  • Let your children see how you relate with God don’t force religion on them. If your kids go to church because mummy says so or daddy says so, when mummy and daddy are not there they won’t go. Preach the Gospel to them, pray for the salvation of their souls and let God do the rest.
  • Allow them invite their friends to the house. Let them hang out where you are so you can hear their conversations. Get to know their friends and their parents.
  • Do not be a passive parent be specific about what you want. Create house rules and regulations. You can write them down and paste it on the wall. Use words like: In this house we; are kind, don’t shout, don’t complain, say thank you etc.
  • Please do not form seniority with your kids. They deserve your “please” and “thank you” as much as you do. They deserve their privacy as much as you do and they deserve respect as much as you do. In other words, practise what you preach.
  • Be involved in their schooling. Know their class teacher/lesson teacher, go for open days, see where they are lagging behind and ask them why they are finding that class or subject difficult, then ask them what they need to help them improve. This way you are making them responsible for their actions. Please avoid shouting at them because they failed in class. I bet they already feel bad, don’t make it worse. Instead remove or reduce privilege such as no game / television /travelling this holiday and let them know how you feel.
  • Give yourself a break when you make mistakes; no parent is perfect. That said, when it is necessary, apologize to your kids. It strengthens the bond and respect they have for you.

What other tips do you think should be added to the list or removed from the list? Kindly comment below.

TosinOpara. I am the content Creator/Brand manager for “Deestylefairy”. I am passionate about family, parenting and personal development, which are the values that my brand represents.

Picture Credit: Google

WHAT IS THE BLUEPRINT OF YOUR FUTURE?

WHAT IS THE BLUEPRINT OF YOUR FUTURE?

 

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The parameters that guide the layout of our lives should be founded out of a conviction of the revelation of our God-ordained assignments.

You know that long-standing primer to get people soulful and introspective, coined in the life question of; “where do you see yourself in ten years time?” well, it has been the landmark for many of us. For some, the events of the future might just be really vague, for some, they have a well-structured and goal driven plan for their life and then another category that stand tall in the revealed purpose of God for their lives.

 

The direction that charts the course of our lives should not be driven by ambition but by divine inspiration because truly, there is a way that seems right unto a woman but she has to get the roadmap from He who constructed the road, so she doesn’t hit a dead-end or miss her way.

So many times, we fall into the temptation of viewing our lives through the lens of life’s standard and systems created by men, systems in which the parameters that spell out success are in reference to the progress of others.

In the journey of life, there are no multiple lanes, every person is on a unique assignment in life not a group work. The moment we discern God’s plan for us we will live in an awareness that we are constantly a work in progress regardless of the situation around us because the stages and phases in life accumulate to measured seasons and God owns our seasons.

Every event, pleasant or unpleasant, every decision, every opportunity, every lesson in life is a prerequisite for that which lies ahead of us.

If the blueprint of our life is not spirit-inspired, we tend to cave in at the contact of pressure from life. We tend to feel behind schedule at some point because theyardstick is taken from wrong motives and misguided standard.

 

At the end of the day, what keeps you going, might not necessarily be what got you started. Your dreams get fueled and refreshed by the revelation of the clearer vision as it unfolds and gets refreshed in your spirit as you press deeper.

It takes having the understanding of a sure future and a clear dream to hold on to the promises of God and to keep taking the reference point of your life from His word.

Written by

Olajumoke Afolarin

Not Ready For Heaven

Not Ready For Heaven

SMART PHONE, FOOLISH CHRISTIAN

1 John 2:15–17: “Stop loving this evil world and all that it offers you, for when you love the world you show that you do not have the love of the Father in you. For the world offers only the lust for physical pleasure, the lust for everything we see, and pride in our possessions. These are not from the Father. They are from this evil world. And this world is fading away, along with everything it craves. But if you do the will of God, you will live forever.” (NLT)

I watched the movie- Miracles From Heaven which is based on a true life story for the first time yesterday and I was just completely in awe of God all over again. The movie was so emotional for me and the part that made me really teary was when Anna ‘died’ and went to Heaven and everything was so beautiful. My heart leaped at the thought of how truly beautiful and so colourful Heaven is and the thought of standing face to face with God just left me in complete reverence and awe. I cannot even explain it, but truly, GOD IS AWESOME!!! And this song by MercyMe comes to my mind-

I can only imagine what it will be like
When I walk by your side
I can only imagine what my eyes will see
When your face is before me
I can only imagine

Yes, we can only imagine what it would be like to stand face to face with God, but the question is are we looking forward to that day? We can say we love Jesus. We can say we long to spend eternity in heaven worshiping Him. We can say we long for a world free of sin and corruption and pain and death and destruction. We can say this world is not our home; but can we be really honest with ourselves? We all want to go to heaven, but just.not.yet.

When I was single I remember I used to say “Jesus please don’t come back until I’m married and I’ve had sex.” LOL! I believe I’m not part of the five wise virgins. I’m sure I’m not the only one who had this thought and I’m also sure there are many single ladies that are saving sex until marriage who have this thought too. Right?  Then after marriage, it turns to Jesus, please don’t come back … until I have kids… before I buy my dream house inIkoyi … before I attend my son’s graduation… spoil my grandkids…  The list is endless.

The truth is most of us don’t want Jesus to return yet. We have no desire for heaven right now. If we were to choose, most of us would choose to die peacefully when we are 80 or 90 (in our sleep, dying at the same time with our spouse, if possible LOL) having experienced all the things we longed for on earth, we would be perfectly content floating off to heaven.

Jesus was not married. He had no home, no car, no retirement plan. He devoted His life to loving others, teaching about God, challenging His disciples and serving those He encountered. He didn’t seem to be concerned with just about any of the things that consume our thoughts on a daily basis- our jobs, families, dreams, goals, careers, ambitions etc.

This is not to say that these things are wrong, but have you ever thought about what it would look like if we truly made heaven our top priority? What if we not only believed this world is not our home but we actually lived it out on a daily basis? What if we showed little to no concern for material things and instead focused on pointing to the eternal?

What message would that send to the unbelievers who long for marriage, sex, kids, cars, houses and fat retirement accounts?What if they saw us longing to spend eternity with Jesus? And what if they saw us living it out right now, longing for Christ to return today instead of waiting till we are 80?

The reason a lot of us are not ready for heaven is majorly because we are not sure whether we are living in the will of God. The passage above(1 John 2:17) says if we do the will of God, we will live forever. If we truly do the will of God, we would not be bothered about material things and like Jesus, we would be able to say “Not my will but yours be done” and a longing to see Him and spend eternity in Heaven would fill our hearts.

Written by:

Funto Ibuoye- I’m just a small girl helped by a big God!

BEAUTIFIED CONFESSIONS FOR THE WEEK- AUGUST 29

BEAUTIFIED CONFESSIONS FOR THE WEEK- AUGUST 29

Our confession for the week is taken from Job 22:28-29
This week I decree that there is a lifting up for me!
This week men may be cast and trodden down but I remained lifted and blessed!
This week I decree that new and good things happen to me!
This week I condition my environment (house, place of work or place of business) to attract God’s  favor, blessings, mercies and goodness!
This week I decree that I receive help from helpers known and unknown to me!
This week I decree that my desires according to God’s will are met!
This week I decree that the earth yields abundance into me!
This week I radiate joy unspeakable everywhere I go!
I am a woman of substance, therefore I sit before kings and dine with queens!
I am highly favored!
I am a nation builder and a game changer!
I am a warrior on heels!
I am a woman of purpose and destiny!
I am a virtuous woman!
I am blessed and a blessing to my generation!
My heart is open to love God and people, especially those I am sent to!
I bear and rear children who will impact/impart their generation positively!
I am beautiful inside out!
I am a beautified woman!
I——————-am becoming———————- ———
(Insert your name and the kind of woman you are becoming)
P.S; you can still decree others things you want to see in your life this week according to Job22:28 and they shall be established.

What’s the big deal about a marriage proposal?  

What’s the big deal about a marriage proposal?  

smart-phone-foolish-christian-1

There is no doubt about this; every single lady eagerly waits for the day the man of her dreams will propose to her. While the guy has to come up with creative and sometimes outrageous ideas just to ask her to be his wife, the lady will probably be thinking of whether to faint, cry, or bust out in laughter when the proposal comes. LOL

Don’t you just hear some marriage proposal stories and all that comes to your head is “how would my man propose? I know ladies who say “my own proposal has to be out of this world, “Say no to private proposal,” “I want the world to hear about my proposal”

This insistence on the extraordinary puts undue pressure on the men, some of them have not proposed because they are still saving money to buy the ring you want.

Social media is not even helping matters. So much priority has been given to the glamorous and extravagant proposals that some ladies measure the importance of their relationship by the kind of proposal the man pulls off.

Listen, big proposal and extravagant wedding does not guarantee a good marriage. Before you call me bad belle let me say this. I do not have a problem with flamboyant proposals, if he can afford it great, if he cannot please accept what he can offer. Never put your man under pressure because you want a flamboyant proposal.

It has gotten to the extent that when a man proposes privately to his woman, she is not so excited because people were not there to witness the proposal.

Some go to the extent of asking him to do it again. What happened to the ‘you and me’ time?

There is absolutely nothing wrong in having your friends and family at your proposal, I actually find that very honoring but if he does not do it that way would you still love it?

Wouldn’t you rather save the money for an out of this world proposal for your future?

Avoid comparing your relationship with what you see online. Because somebody’s proposal was recorded and posted online yours doesn’t mean yours must follow that pattern.

Some of these desires are borne out of covetousness. When you are not satisfied with what your man can offer and you constantly ask him to look at Mr. B. there is a problem

Godliness with contentment is great gain.

The proposal should be the least of your worries instead, channel all your efforts to preparing yourself for the real deal. Marriage.

Written By

Olayera Oluwaseyifunmi,

Blogger,  teacher, speaker, make-up artiste, voice over artiste and a lover of God.

Raising Kingdom Children

Raising Kingdom Children

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It’s amazing how there are so many empowerment talk here and there, I am blown away by the number of young Christian women ensuring that other women are living their life for Jesus.

The gospel of Christ is been spread far and wide, I am glad. Let’s take it home for a moment; if Jesus were to come now right now which of your kids would go to heaven?

Have you taken out time to ensure that they are Kingdom approved?

It’s time mothers, it’s time to rise up for your child, the enemy is stealing a lot of kids and destroying their destinies, that would not be our children’s portion in Jesus name. Amen.

What kind of school do your kids go to? Are they particular about raising Kingdom children or are they particular about raising worldly kids?

The time has come for you to live life as a conscious Christian. Does your child go to Sunday school? Do you ask what they learnt at the church? Do you do bible study with your kids, do you teach them stories from the bible?

Buy the appropriate devotionals for your kids, I remember my mom used to get us everyday with Jesus for kids (I think one was called topaz) back then everyone had their own devotional (different age group) and I actually enjoyed it. As a kid those devotional helped me sort out some things I could not tell my parents.

As adults we are so caught up in our world and it’s challenges that we fail to remember that our kids also have challenges at their age, for their age.

Let us ensure our kids are brought up in the way of the lord. It’s more than ensuring they go to church, dress properly or have good manners. It’s ensuring our children make heaven.

There are little kids who gather at night to destroy families, homes, their parents, friends etc. through the manipulation of the enemy. Lets ensure our children are for Christ before the enemy steals them away.

God can use our kids at a very tender age, begin to speak the word of God on their lives prophecy on your children, pour out the Holy spirit on them and encourage them to be willing for the masters use.

Let’s teach our kids that it’s better to be in the lords army from a tender age.

Whatever happened to that bracelet “What would Jesus do” (WWJD)? That bracelet helped me a lot. It stopped me from making stupid decisions and doing stupid things. As a kid, I had anger issues; it actually helped to control my temper. Let’s bring it back.

Buy Christian toys, books, audios and accessories for your kids, take them to Christian concerts let them know that Jesus is cool.

Its operation wwjd! This week I am going to teach my daughter to ask herself wwjd before she takes any decision. Who is with me? Its time to teach our kids that anyone who doesn’t know Jesus isn’t cool and should be schooled about who Jesus is.

Its time to bring those bracelets back what do you guys think?

Let’s spread the gospel to 1000 kids with this band before the year runs out. Children will come to fear God.

Written By

Tosin Opara

I am the content Creator/Brand manager for “Deestylefairy”. I am passionate about family, parenting and personal development, which are the values that my brand represents.

Getting Intimate With The Holy Spirit

Getting Intimate With The Holy Spirit

Few months ago I was feeling somewhat insecure about my body; my stretch marks, and my not so flat tummy. I’d ask my husband what he thinks about my body and expect him to say how he super loveeeesss it. Yinmu!! He’d just smile or say “shebi I’ve said I like your stretch marks na” But that didn’t just cut it for me. I wanted something more. I wanted him to tell me I was beautiful and all that; but he didn’t.  I’d feel sad when he doesn’t say what I want to hear and I’d just sulk and curl up by myself. Then the Holy Spirit will tell me “you’re beautiful”, in my mind I’d be like “Ehn tell that to my husband and make him tell me” LOL!

Then I thought to myself that if The Holy Spirit says I’m beautiful, why do I need confirmation from a man to prove it?  I recently started reading Without Rival by Lisa Bevere and in the first chapter Lisa says we should write out three words that God calls us or something like that and the three words that the Holy Spirit told me immediately are Blessed Beautiful and Beloved. I screamed!

I needed to stop pressuring and expecting my husband to meet my every need and define my esteem, worth and value. That’s not fair on him; he’s as human and limited as can be. Since the Holy Spirit told me that, my whole perspective switched. I don’t pester my husband for compliments anymore; in fact I now give him compliments almost every time. I’m the one now telling him he’s so beautiful and not because I just want to say it but because I really look at him and I’m like “awww my husband is soo finneee” and I tell him.  He doesn’t have to say it back to me; I’m secure and confident in the fact that I am beautiful… because the Holy Spirit says so and God calls me beautiful. And since I started intentionally relating with the Holy Spirit like this, it literally feels like my marriage has become more romantic and full of joy.

The Holy Spirit is real. More real than anyone in this world no matter how close that person is to us and He wants to have a real relationship with us. He is not merely an impersonal power; He has a will, mind and emotions. The Holy Spirit is God up close and personal.

Asides empowering us, the Holy Spirit wants to communicate and fellowship with us. However the question is do we want to fellowship and communicate with Him as much as he wants to with us?

If your answer is yes, here are a few guidelines to building an intimate relationship with the person of the Holy Spirit

  1. Study what the Bible says about Intimacy with the Holy Spirit

Being grounded in Scripture ensures that we have a strong foundation for developing an intimate relationship with the Holy Spirit. In your quest for intimacy with the Holy Spirit, you need to take time to study what the Bible says about the Holy Spirit as well as how people in Scripture lived and walked in an intimate relationship with God.

  1. Discover how you uniquely connect with the Holy Spirit

Every relationship requires communication, and intimacy grows when we have special times together. Our relationship with God will benefit from learning how we personally relate best to Him. Lisa Bevere said in her book Without Rival that God doesn’t love everyone one of us equally, rather He loves us UNIQUELY and if He loves us uniquely, He’d relate with each one of us in a unique way. Don’t try to relate with the Holy Spirit the same way someone else says they relate with Him. Give yourself permission to explore an intimate relationship with the Holy Spirit in the way that suits you and don’t be intimidated by another person’s relationship with Him.

  1. Pay Attention to and cultivate an awareness of the Holy Spirit

Cultivating an awareness of the presence of the Holy Spirit does not mean that we will always feel Him physically. It begins with the revelation of His nearness. The Bible says that the Holy Spirit is present in and with us and so we believe it. He is our constant companion. There are so many examples in Scripture of how God spoke to people in many different times- not just when they were waiting to hear from Him, but also when they were travelling and working and even just relaxing. The Holy Spirit will communicate with you on the go. He desires to be a part of your everyday life, when you’re busy as well as when you’re not so busy.

  1. Be Real and Authentic

You don’t need to hide anything and no need to perform. Just be yourself, with both your strengths and your weaknesses. It’s so easy to try to hide our weaknesses and strive to always act strong and faith-filled. But the Father’s arms are waiting. He longs for us to express our grief or distress to Him and receive His comfort. The Holy Spirit is our Comforter and Helper, but if we are not vulnerable and authentic with Him, we cannot receive the assistance He desires to give us. Don’t hold God at arm’s length when you need His love, grace and comfort. The presence of weakness does not diminish the quality of your faith; it enhances it and is a powerful witness to others

  1. Pray in tongues

Finally, praying in the Spirit or praying in tongues is one of the most intimate encounters we can have with the Holy Spirit. In those moments of prayer, you unite with Him to establish the Father’s purposes for your life and those who are on His heart. I pray in tongues a lot; I’d rather pray in tongues than pray in words and I could go for hours at a stretch. And I’ve realized that over the years this has really helped me grow in my relationship with the Holy Spirit and in my spiritual walk.

 

The Holy Spirit is a perfect gentleman and as mentioned earlier, He has emotions too and can be grieved, that’s why the Bible warns us not to grieve the Holy Spirit. I love the Holy Spirit and I’m in this phase where I’m fostering a real romantic relationship with Him; I’m learning to relate with Him like He’s staying next to me every single moment, because He really is. I’m learning to see that He’s more real to me than my husband and He’s obviously more romantic than my husband.

Does the desire to have an intimate relationship with the Holy Spirit resonate with you? Today, take time to pray and ask God to stir up the desire for a greater level of encounter and intimacy with Him.

Written by:

Funto Ibuoye- I’m just a small girl helped by a big God!

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