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A BIRTHDAY GIFT TO MY UNBORN DAUGHTER

A BIRTHDAY GIFT TO MY UNBORN DAUGHTER

SMART PHONE, FOOLISH CHRISTIAN

Dear Tamar,

Mummy just turned 27 and I am so excited at what the New Year brings. I know you may be wondering why I am writing to you, especially since you aren’t here yet and I’m not exactly sure when you will come but my precious daughter, this is my heartfelt birthday gift to you. I haven’t met you but I already feel a great sense of responsibility to share with you the amazing experience God has taken mummy through. I know Jesus will read this to you for me in preparation for your arrival and please feel free to always use this gift as an encouraging reminder as you journey through life. You see just like you, mummy was once a child. Born into this world with no clue as to what to expect as the days and the years rolled by. One thing for sure is that during your early stages, mummy and daddy with the sole help of God will be there to hold your hands to guide you through. We will impact by God’s amazing grace the right seeds that you will need to survive in this harsh world.

My precious Tamar, there is only so much mummy can do and as you begin to evolve into the woman that God has called you to be, your once one sided mind accustomed to the choices of mummy and daddy will now be divided. There is a naughty man called the devil who will take it upon himself to mislead you and show you attractive options which may seem good for you but not right for you in the sight of God your Father. I would never lie to you and I won’t start now but please listen to me. You may fall! Not once, not twice, not the number of times I can write on several pages of this letter. That’s the hard truth and I deeply feel your heart my love. I know how desperately you would want to please God, mummy and daddy but life may not make it easy for you to do so. You see there’s a particular area I want to focus on here. I’m focusing on this because no matter how the world may try to water it down in your time before your eyes, you must know that most of us were created to optimally function in twos. This has been the case from the very beginning of time, with Adam & Eve. We were created to be relational in nature and it’s absolutely normal that as you grow, you will start to attract and be attracted by the opposite sex. My sweet daughter, please do not be afraid, it’s absolutely normal. Although I will strive to be a mother that will be your confidant after God, you may not want to share some of these things with me. You may feel all alone in your feelings sometimes, which may cause you to make decisions that seem right in your own beautiful understanding. Now while I will pray to be able to control situations that I can, the ones out of my control will be between you and our heavenly father Jesus. May I plead with you that you carefully and diligently seek Him as you begin to grow into your own purposeful woman?

Tamar darling, I cannot emphasize enough the importance in putting Jesus first before making those drastic decisions. I am not saying that you shouldn’t explore and learn from experiences which will create the best version of you but life is so much easier when Jesus has His stamp of approval on your footsteps. My dearest daughter, it’s never too early to start even though the world will paint a different picture to you. You may wonder how and why this is so important to mummy. Well I love you so much Tamar that I am extremely grateful to God that I made mistakes in my time which will become testimonies in yours. I just heard you ask why I won’t allow you make your own mistakes. My princess Tamar, it’s not your fault that you have such a question and that’s exactly how I would feel if I had my mum tell me these. My sweet daughter, there are mistakes that you can absolutely do without. Now this is not to say that God doesn’t use our mistakes to push us to His amazing purpose for our lives. He does and as a matter of fact that is why He is a beautiful Father who makes all things work together for our good. Both the good and bad steps! But do you know that there will be consequences for your actions my love? These consequences are powerful enough to change the entire course of your life and destiny. This is why it is so important to carry Jesus along in the littlest details of your life.

Mummy honestly wishes that she could write the story of your life from the time you are born till your last day on earth but I do not have that power. Come to think of it, it will be extremely scary to have that power because in the grand scheme of things, I do not know what is best for you. The seeming intelligence of my mind is absolute foolishness unto God. My thought out imaginations and plans for you or even the plans you will have for yourself is only like a drop of water in the mightiest ocean of God’s plan for you. Let mummy use herself as an example. You see, mummy wanted to get married at the age of 25 with all her children born by the age of 30 latest. I laugh at myself now Tamar my love. Mummy is now 27 and not married, although Daddy is very much in her life right now. I thought my life was all planned out until God stepped in and put a spin to it. I could have still achieved my 25 year marriage plan but Tamar I do not think I will be writing this letter to you if I did. I cannot imagine what my life would have been like. It will have taken a totally different turn away from God’s will and purpose for my life. Who knows, your name won’t even have been Tamar. By the way, I love your name so much because it means that you will flourish and thrive in all seasons of your entire life. You see, mummy’s heart was broken many times in her short time on earth. So many times! Love is free my darling but only a few can give it the way God has intended that you should be loved. Just like mummy you will come across many who will offer you different variations of what love looks and feels like. Don’t be easily swayed! Many of them will feel right but will lack the very substance of the kind of love Jesus wants you to experience.

My princess, they will never stand the test of time. May I ask that you please remain guarded by God’s word and never feel pressured to make any decision without wholeheartedly and patiently consulting your father Jesus? Tamar, do not let anyone tell you otherwise. You are unexplainably priceless and you deserve the very best standard of love. My daughter you must actively seek to experience God’s unconditional love for you and that way, you can easily identify the perfect will of God for your life. The thought of the depths of God’s love I feel as I write this letter to you brings me close to tears. This is the only gift I can give to you as your mother and it is far more valuable than anything that your mind can ever comprehend. Listen to me carefully; Tamar you must know Jesus for yourself. Please my daughter, allow Him take you on the best journey that you will ever go through. Let Him uniquely express Himself to you in a way that no one on the surface of this earth has ever experienced. Do not let anyone paint a picture they personally have of Jesus to you. Those are only guidelines but the imprint of Jesus on your heart should be unique to you just like your finger prints. No one else on the surface of this earth has it my sweetheart. Tamar mummy experienced this last year. After 26 years of barely scratching the surface, God visited me. After all the heartaches and disappointments, He answered mummy’s prayer in giving her life partner, your priceless daddy. Just like Jesus who gives us exceedingly, abundantly, above all that we can ever ask or imagine, He brought daddy with so many life changing blessings that it broke mummy to the point of humility at God’s grace and mercy. Why is this important? I feel you asking. Well Tamar, if I could be given the chance to come back to earth from scratch just like you, with the knowledge of what my 26th year will bring, I will wait! Yes I know that sounds scary but baby my 25 previously lived years on earth are nothing compared to what I’ve experienced in 1 year since I’ve found Jesus intimately for myself.

You will learn that some have it different and have to wait longer or shorter but my love God doesn’t work with our time. He works with our purpose! Everyone’s story will be different but one thing will always be the same till the end of time and that’s Jesus. Looking back, all the cold tears, depression, lonely thoughts, hopeless thoughts, emotional instability, immorality and compromise in those years were not worth my struggle. Although they have carved me into being who I am now, the road would probably have been less painful. I fought and disliked God so much during these years for my own will and not His. Now I bow absolutely face down, flat on the ground at God’s amazing miracle in my life. It was all worth the pain. This blessing is the reason why I can write this letter to you my love.

I’m not perfect Tamar neither is the life around me, and I know for sure that God did not bless me because of my perfection but because He chose to. Sometimes it brings me to tears at the thought of why He chose to bless me and love me unexplainably. As a matter of fact, mummy still has many struggles and battles that keep her constantly on her knees for Jesus but His joy speaks louder than any pain. All I plead is that you let your heart sit in the palm of His hands were you get to deeply appreciate Him for who He is. It is important you get it right Tamar. Please never ever judge the world but also don’t feel at home in this world. In your generation, let God use you as an example of what the mighty power of two can be. I pray that God keeps me till your wedding day when I will smile knowing that you made the right decision, the Jesus decision.

Life will not be perfect baby, it will be bumpy, there will be tears, you will be stretched, you will have scary thoughts, and you will doubt Jesus and entertain fear several times. These are realities that mummy is preparing you for. But unlike mummy, you can handle these differently by focusing on Jesus and learning to trust Him right from the very start of your life. I’m here to help you always baby, but I can only go so far! Forever run to Jesus and no one else for all the help that you will ever need. No one can ever make you who you are Tamar, only Jesus! Never forget this. You will never be alone in this life long race. I love you my precious daughter and the Lord knows I can’t wait to meet you. It is an honour and one of my greatest achievements to be the first to introduce Jesus to you. With all the love in my heart, Mummy

 

This letter was written by Isiuwa Ikponmwosa.

ETIQUETTE IS A BIG DEAL! PART 2

ETIQUETTE IS A BIG DEAL! PART 2

SMART PHONE, FOOLISH CHRISTIAN

Hey everyone! The last time I posted, I started a series on etiquette being a big deal. If you missed it kindly find the post here. 

Today I will highlight a few things your children must know as they grow up.

Has it happened to you before? Someone calls your phone number and in one breath asks, who am I speaking with? How did you feel? Not very pleased I’m sure. Telephone etiquette such as introducing yourself when you call someone is very important. Do not shout and if it happens that you did not initiate the call, don’t waste the caller’s money by prolonging the call unduly. Doing that is inconsiderate.

Children should be taught appreciation by saying “thank you” for every kind gesture. Far too many people go around with the entitlement….They believe the world owes them and so they grumble and whine when things don’t go their way. Such people are never fun to be with.

Bathroom/ Toilet etiquette. Teaching your children to knock and clean up after themselves is very important. . Let them know how to leave the toilet nice and clean for whoever would come in next.

Table etiquette. ‘Do not talk with your mouth wide open when you have food in your mouth’ is a basic rule. Make sure your mouth does not make so much noise. (That’s another thing you have to teach them) You should be able to take your children outside without fear that while they are chewing, there will be so much noise. Teach them to chew gently. It can be very embarrassing to sit at table with someone who does any of these things.

Social Etiquette could include not interrupting when others are talking and if you must, say “excuse me”.be polite.teach them punctuality. If you must be late, let the person you have an appointment with know that you have some constraints early enough. It is bad manners to keep others waiting. In actual fact you are stealing from them.

There are many more things they need to learn but this would definitely be a good start.

To you parenting success!

Written By

Folasade Adejoorin.

A mother,teacher,administrator, counselor, author and founder Leaps and Bounds Early Years. She is passionate about helping parents raise godly children in Christian homes.

ETIQUETTE IS A BIG DEAL!

ETIQUETTE IS A BIG DEAL!

SMART PHONE, FOOLISH CHRISTIAN

I grew up to hear my grandmother say in her Oyo dialect, O l’ettiqutte. This was her usual reaction whenever she felt miffed by any wrongdoing from my sister and I. She said it so much that we thought the word ‘etiquette’ must be a grand old word used by grandmothers or old people. But growing up I’ve come to realize that Etiquette speaks of a fine sense of decorum. The conduct or procedure required by good breeding or prescribed by authority to be observed in social or official life. Google defines it as a customary code of polite behavior in society or among members of a particular profession or group.

Vocabulary.com says if you practice proper etiquette, you are less likely to offend or annoy people and you may even charm them. Can you imagine how much good that does for your child? You must have observed that people naturally take a liking to children that are cultured and practice good etiquette. This tells us that practicing good etiquette will most likely attract favour and goodwill to your child. Teaching your child etiquette will therefore give them a head start in life.

Etiquette does not start and end with belonging to a privileged social strata neither is it a Western concept. Etiquette involves doing things in such a manner to avoid causing discomfort to others. When you treat people well, they not only feel good about themselves they think well of you. Our world will be a much better place to live in if every child should grow up with good etiquette.

We are social beings and so it is important that we comport ourselves well.

There are etiquette rules for different occasions and when you practice good etiquette you leave a fragrance behind. Teach your children that.

Etiquette makes you a cultured individual who leaves his mark wherever he goes.

Etiquette teaches you the way to talk, walk and most importantly behave in the society.

Etiquette is essential for an everlasting first impression. The way you interact with your superiors, parents, fellow workers, friends speak a lot about your personality and up- bringing.

Etiquette enables individuals earn respect and appreciation in the society. No one would feel like talking to a person who does not know how to speak or behave in the society. Etiquette inculcates a feeling of trust and loyalty in the individuals. One becomes more responsible and mature. Etiquette helps individuals to value relationships.

We are living at such a time that people are increasingly losing their manners and rudeness has reached its peak. Children talk to elders anyhow and we think it is okay. It is not okay. Good etiquette once learnt would likely be a part of your children for life.

A lot of the issues that are handled in adult life would probably not have occurred if they had been nipped in the bud and good manners taught. Your son doesn’t know how to share toys with other children in class, correct him now.

There are business, bathroom, table wedding telephone ,social, meeting etiquette and so on. In my next article I will be discussing some types of etiquette which I believe are basic and important for your child to acquire.

I hope you will learn a thing or two from it.

Written By

Folasade Adejoorin.

A mother,teacher,administrator, counselor, author and founder Leaps and Bounds Early Years. She is passionate about helping parents raise godly children in Christian homes.TTI

WHAT’S THE BIG DEAL ABOUT FAMILY PLANNING?

WHAT’S THE BIG DEAL ABOUT FAMILY PLANNING?

SMART PHONE, FOOLISH CHRISTIAN

If you’ve never heard of family planning before or you are not exactly sure what it means, this definition should help.

Family planning is the concept of limiting the size of families through the spacing or prevention of pregnancies, especially for economic reasons.

The World Health Organization explains that the main advantage of family planning is that women and couples can avoid unwanted pregnancies, WHO advocates that with family planning, a woman can space out her pregnancies and limit her family size using different methods of contraceptives.

I believe some Christians have misconceptions about this verse in the Bible “Then God blessed them, saying, “Be fruitful and multiply. Let the fish fill the seas, and let the birds multiply on the earth.”” Genesis 1:22 NLT

Yes God wants us to be fruitful but we must be wise about our decisions

Let’s not forget Abraham had just one son and he was the father of many nations! You don’t have to give birth to so many children to be the mother of nations.

I don’t like it when parents have so many children and cannot cater for all of them. It is important to always consider the children before and after they have arrived.

It’s not right to bring children into the world to suffer. If you can’t care for them don’t birth them. 1Timothy 5:8.

There are different methods of family planning however before you choose one, you have to consider a few things.

Now you know about this and you are asking when do start family planning? My answer is this, have this discussion with you spouse and decide mutually. I can only advise that no form of birth control besides condom or withdrawal method should be used if you are yet to have any children, just to be on a safe side medically.

Almost everything in life has disadvantage we just always look for the least dangerous options and go with it. So also the different birth control or family planning methods have their disadvantages but by Gods grace none of these side effects will affect any of us in Jesus name. Amen.

For more details please go the sites listed or visit a gynaecologist.

Remain blessed till my next post.

Written By Tosin Opara

I am the content Creator/Brand manager for “Deestylefairy”. I am passionate about family, parenting and personal development, which are the values that my brand represents.

Dear Christian Wife

Dear Christian Wife

SMART PHONE, FOOLISH CHRISTIAN (1)

“For your royal husband delights in your beauty; honour him, for he is your Lord. ” Psalms 45:11 (NLT)

I see you, I know you have fire for the lord. I SEE you and feel your desire to please the Lord. You spend endless hours in the house of God, doing what you believe is the right thing.

You value your pastors opinion over that your husbands.

In fact your pastors wife has more wisdom than your husband and she has said when you are fasting you should consecrate yourself to God, so no sex while fasting.

Your church says you should cover your hair, not wear trousers and not use extensions you do as they say but your husband desires that you do the opposite.

Be warned God is not mocked whatever you sow so shall you reap.

Your husband is your head and your Lord, If that statement alone makes you angry that is the spirit of jezebel at work. Trust me I have been there before.

Once you are married only your husband has the right to tell you what and what not to do. Let’s go to the word of God; the one time Sarah told Abraham what to do look at the disaster it caused, Ishmael was born. Why am I even going to that story lets start from the beginning when Eve told Adam what to do, look at the outcome. The world is still suffering from their self taught wisdom.

God created men to be kings and priests in their homes let them be! I see you spiritual mama; but once you are home with your family submit to your husband. You cannot be more holy than your husband.

There is an anointing on their head for Leadership, just keep praying for them to make the right decisions. It’s not easy but God will give you wisdom.

If your husband says he is too tired to go to church it’s ok to have service at home while he heads the service, God is everywhere.

Don’t always think you are the holiest one in the relationship just because you think or even see your husband do things that are not Christian like. They answer to God not you. You should not disrespect them with the excuse of trying to tell them off when they do wrong. Stop it.

Be submissive does not mean to be a slave; it means to be respectful, to understand and accept that your husband is Lord over you.

Except it is against THE WORD OF GOD (not your pastor, prophet or parents) whatever your husband says is right! It is only the word of God that remains the same, beware of teachers, preachers, prophets and false men of God that say they heard the spirit of God. Check every advice with the word of God. Your husband comes first! If it’s 4pm and you are still in church since 8am; if your husband is not the pastor you have no business in the church go home and cook for your husband.

Men like to be serviced, pampered and catered for. Take care of your man. Don’t give another woman access into your home.

Wisdom wisdom wisdom get wisdom!

Blessings×××

Navigating the Teenage Years With your Child

Navigating the Teenage Years With your Child

 

SMART PHONE, FOOLISH CHRISTIANChildren could be a handful and many times we can’t wait until they grow up.  At least they won’t have to be fed, carried or bed wet as they used to.

After some years, you begin to notice the growth spurts in your  child. Ah! You feel some rush of adrenaline. Your little boy or girl is growing. But these physical changes are also accompanied by a lot of emotional and behavioural changes.

At this stage your son or daughter is in transition. He’s not quite a child nor quite an adult. You may even begin to wonder where that sweet child of yours is. In an attempt to prove they are all grown, he or she can become daring, disrespectful and do things that are outright dangerous or irresponsible. Again they want to push their limits and test their boundaries. You will observe that in the title of this article I used the word “navigating ” I had other choices such as “coping “. But the word navigating makes the teenage years look more like a journey while coping makes it sound like something to be endured. I believe our attitude as parents can make or mar the period for us and our teenagers. Once you see that period as one in which there will be chaos and rebellion ..with your child, your actions will likely be ….

At this time, you need to listen more. I dare say for most people, this is a very difficult skill. Most people will rather talk than listen. But if your teen knows you’re listening to him, it is more likely that he will likely listen more. For him it is important that you treat him with respect and one of the best ways to do this is to listen. Don’t get me wrong, listening to them does not mean you have to tag along with their whims and do everything they want. . What it does is to show that you acknowledge him as a rational being who is entitled to his own views. The advantage of listening to him is that when it is time for you to talk, he also will feel more obliged to listen. Ensure that you do not always talk down at them. Be honest and open in your conversation with them.

Never try to create an impression of an infallible parent to them because you are not. And they will find out soon enough. Be sure that when they do find out, they will lose the respect they have for you. Own up when you make mistakes and apologise when you are wrong.  Letting your child know that you have your areas of struggle makes you more real. But don’t stop at that, let them see that you are making efforts to overcome in those areas. It serves as an encouragement for them to also admit or own up to their.own personal struggles and do their best to work towards a change.

Be a model of the virtues you want your teenager to replicate. It is lack of integrity to demand a behaviour from your child while you exhibit exactly the opposite.

Be a parent. What this means is that you must be firm when need be. Don’t dance to your child’s tune. Set boundaries and insist that they are kept. If you want your child to always be happy with you then something is probably wrong.

Show your child unconditional love. Love that does not depend on whether he performs or meets your expectations. This is tough but with God’s help and your determination, it is possible.

Don’t always come to your child’s rescue. When he does something wrong it is better to allow him face the consequences of his actions rather than bail him out. It is better the child learns this early enough and know that he will have to take responsibility for all of his actions. Don’t leave the child all alone let him still know you care and can always find a support in you. Even when we fail God He chastises us but also picks us up and showers His love on us such that we can continue our walk with Him.

You may need to seek the help of a a friend, counsellor or some other professionals in certain cases that you are unable to handle. Don’t feel ashamed to seek help. Truth is we all have our areas of struggle.

To your parenting success.

Folasade Adejoorin

A mother,teacher,administrator, counselor and author. She is passionate about helping parents raise godly children in Christian homes.

 

 

 

Mothers liberate your children!

Mothers liberate your children!

SMART PHONE, FOOLISH CHRISTIAN

I remember how growing up was for me and some other children around. We would go to school as early as 7.am and wouldn’t return until around 4.pm. Even after spending so many hours in school, some of us would still be subjected to doing private lessons at home. The long vacations were not left out as our parents made sure we spent it all on the so called ‘summer coaching’ recycling same pattern of life.

It didn’t seem like there were other things we could learn and build on aside our academics; that was the only way to success.

I know very well that some of you can relate. My question now is this; are you putting your children through that same pattern of life or are allowing them explore other areas of life? Are you allowing you child enjoy the holidays in the real sense of the word?

You see, a child who is trained and brought up to be versatile will have little or no problem finding where his/her true passion lies. It’s really sickening that some parents cannot boldly say what particularly their child is great at, they don’t know what gifts their child has because they have clearly not observed. All they are concerned about is the grades.Don’t get me wrong. Grades are good but that’s not all there is to life.

When your children do well in sports, music, dance cheer them up. Don’t wait till the report card arrives.

Your child might not even be the best at school but there is something that he can do better than the person who took first position, but it’s up to you to help him find and build and be proud of it.

Never let your child feel unnecessarily bad because they are not the best in school. Instead encourage, correct and help. Don’t mock or yell.  That way you would also be building your child’s self-esteem.

Till I come your way again, liberate your children.

Written By :

Ozioma Anaele

 

Let your children play

Let your children play

 

smart-phone-foolish-christian-3

I remember my childhood with nostalgia in the serene neighborhood of Oluyoro Street in Bodija, Ibadan. We played ehn, I mean we really played. Don’t get me wrong ooo, we also worked hard. We did house chores, had lesson teachers, read a lot but we really did play hard.

I know many of them are no longer in fashion sha but some of the things we did were ‘Suwe’ , which  the Oyinbos call hop-step-and- jump, ten- ten, hide and seek, card and board games and skipping (I was such a poor skipper then). Lol.

Okay, back to the matter… A child learns through different avenues and play is one of them. Playtime for kids is not a waste of time unlike what many parents believe especially if it is done in a constructive manner. It allows them be creative while developing their imagination and sensory skills. Their physical and cognitive skills are developed while emotional development is also enhanced.  Play is in fact very crucial to healthy brain development.

One advantage is that it helps your child develop his social skills. During play, your child learns to share his toys and thus builds team spirit as he plays other kids of his age. He learns to negotiate the language and communication skills also improve.

Parents Carrying Child

Playing with sand and water is one inexpensive way your child can play. Have you noticed that most children are almost always naturally attracted to sand and water? They want to splash, touch, run their fingers through, pour or sift it. You can give them funnels, sieves, bottles and so onto make it more fun. Kids can also grasp mathematical skills such as measurement as they cook, build castles and stories around it and just generally explore. There’s no end to what they can do with sand.

Most parents prevent them from touching sand or water. Why? They don’t want them to get dirty. Parents are also afraid that the children could mess up floors. But you can ask the child to join in the clean-up. He then learns another great lesson. That is to be responsible enough to clean up after himself.

One other way of making playtime constructive is by playing with your child. Hello??? Did you just tell me to play with my child? Oh yeah, you heard right. Play!!! Yes, go ahead. Just do it! A lot of us parents get so busy that they do not even have time to play with their kids anymore. We race and hurry through life and don’t even spare some time to see how they are faring with their school work, emotionally and in other areas let alone play with them.

However, make sure you don’t go to the extreme of dictating how your child should play. Remember it is all about the child and the ability to be creative even with play. He should be able to determine the direction and path of his play.

Written By

Folasade Adejoorin.

A mother,teacher,administrator, counselor and author. She is passionate about helping parents raise godly children in Christian homes.

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