Few months ago I was feeling somewhat insecure about my body; my stretch marks, and my not so flat tummy. I’d ask my husband what he thinks about my body and expect him to say how he super loveeeesss it. Yinmu!! He’d just smile or say “shebi I’ve said I like your stretch marks na” But that didn’t just cut it for me. I wanted something more. I wanted him to tell me I was beautiful and all that; but he didn’t. I’d feel sad when he doesn’t say what I want to hear and I’d just sulk and curl up by myself. Then the Holy Spirit will tell me “you’re beautiful”, in my mind I’d be like “Ehn tell that to my husband and make him tell me” LOL!
Then I thought to myself that if The Holy Spirit says I’m beautiful, why do I need confirmation from a man to prove it? I recently started reading Without Rival by Lisa Bevere and in the first chapter Lisa says we should write out three words that God calls us or something like that and the three words that the Holy Spirit told me immediately are Blessed Beautiful and Beloved. I screamed!
I needed to stop pressuring and expecting my husband to meet my every need and define my esteem, worth and value. That’s not fair on him; he’s as human and limited as can be. Since the Holy Spirit told me that, my whole perspective switched. I don’t pester my husband for compliments anymore; in fact I now give him compliments almost every time. I’m the one now telling him he’s so beautiful and not because I just want to say it but because I really look at him and I’m like “awww my husband is soo finneee” and I tell him. He doesn’t have to say it back to me; I’m secure and confident in the fact that I am beautiful… because the Holy Spirit says so and God calls me beautiful. And since I started intentionally relating with the Holy Spirit like this, it literally feels like my marriage has become more romantic and full of joy.
The Holy Spirit is real. More real than anyone in this world no matter how close that person is to us and He wants to have a real relationship with us. He is not merely an impersonal power; He has a will, mind and emotions. The Holy Spirit is God up close and personal.
Asides empowering us, the Holy Spirit wants to communicate and fellowship with us. However the question is do we want to fellowship and communicate with Him as much as he wants to with us?
If your answer is yes, here are a few guidelines to building an intimate relationship with the person of the Holy Spirit
- Study what the Bible says about Intimacy with the Holy Spirit
Being grounded in Scripture ensures that we have a strong foundation for developing an intimate relationship with the Holy Spirit. In your quest for intimacy with the Holy Spirit, you need to take time to study what the Bible says about the Holy Spirit as well as how people in Scripture lived and walked in an intimate relationship with God.
- Discover how you uniquely connect with the Holy Spirit
Every relationship requires communication, and intimacy grows when we have special times together. Our relationship with God will benefit from learning how we personally relate best to Him. Lisa Bevere said in her book Without Rival that God doesn’t love everyone one of us equally, rather He loves us UNIQUELY and if He loves us uniquely, He’d relate with each one of us in a unique way. Don’t try to relate with the Holy Spirit the same way someone else says they relate with Him. Give yourself permission to explore an intimate relationship with the Holy Spirit in the way that suits you and don’t be intimidated by another person’s relationship with Him.
- Pay Attention to and cultivate an awareness of the Holy Spirit
Cultivating an awareness of the presence of the Holy Spirit does not mean that we will always feel Him physically. It begins with the revelation of His nearness. The Bible says that the Holy Spirit is present in and with us and so we believe it. He is our constant companion. There are so many examples in Scripture of how God spoke to people in many different times- not just when they were waiting to hear from Him, but also when they were travelling and working and even just relaxing. The Holy Spirit will communicate with you on the go. He desires to be a part of your everyday life, when you’re busy as well as when you’re not so busy.
- Be Real and Authentic
You don’t need to hide anything and no need to perform. Just be yourself, with both your strengths and your weaknesses. It’s so easy to try to hide our weaknesses and strive to always act strong and faith-filled. But the Father’s arms are waiting. He longs for us to express our grief or distress to Him and receive His comfort. The Holy Spirit is our Comforter and Helper, but if we are not vulnerable and authentic with Him, we cannot receive the assistance He desires to give us. Don’t hold God at arm’s length when you need His love, grace and comfort. The presence of weakness does not diminish the quality of your faith; it enhances it and is a powerful witness to others
- Pray in tongues
Finally, praying in the Spirit or praying in tongues is one of the most intimate encounters we can have with the Holy Spirit. In those moments of prayer, you unite with Him to establish the Father’s purposes for your life and those who are on His heart. I pray in tongues a lot; I’d rather pray in tongues than pray in words and I could go for hours at a stretch. And I’ve realized that over the years this has really helped me grow in my relationship with the Holy Spirit and in my spiritual walk.
The Holy Spirit is a perfect gentleman and as mentioned earlier, He has emotions too and can be grieved, that’s why the Bible warns us not to grieve the Holy Spirit. I love the Holy Spirit and I’m in this phase where I’m fostering a real romantic relationship with Him; I’m learning to relate with Him like He’s staying next to me every single moment, because He really is. I’m learning to see that He’s more real to me than my husband and He’s obviously more romantic than my husband.
Does the desire to have an intimate relationship with the Holy Spirit resonate with you? Today, take time to pray and ask God to stir up the desire for a greater level of encounter and intimacy with Him.
Funto Ibuoye- I’m just a small girl helped by a big God!