Browsed by
Tag: Tosin Opara

Bringing church home; How to make your children remain in Christ throughout their life span

Bringing church home; How to make your children remain in Christ throughout their life span

SMART PHONE, FOOLISH CHRISTIAN

Direct your children onto the right path, and when they are older, they will not leave it.
Proverbs 22:6 NLT

Why are children who were raised in the church falling out of church as they grow older? Is the church doing something wrong or are the parents missing something somewhere?

While growing up, the trend was to ensure your kids go to school, after schools and nobody asks to see your homework, nobody asked what you were thought in school that day or what happened in school. Our parents where to busy trying to make money. Same things goes for Sunday school, nobody asked questions about Sunday school teachings or what activities or your new friends in church. Our parents thought that sending us to school, lesson and Sunday school meant that we automatically turn out great; well wrong.
We should not follow that trend. While my younger brother was in school I noticed his school devised a method to make parents involved with the child’s schooling by sending a report booklet with the home work. I did all the signing and checking of homework for him, my mum was super busy.
Anyways same thing with my daughter in fact based on that knowledge I had I looked for a school that had that same pattern. I do my daughters homework with her, not only that, when I go pick her up from school, I start asking her questions to make her talk about whatever happened in her class for that day. She is only 3 years old so this also helps her increase her vocabulary daily, it’s a win, win situation.
I also have a close relationship with her teacher, it’s very important, have your kids’ teachers’ number. The school also has this policy where each class has a WhatsApp group which is great.

I brought church home for my kids, I am raising my kids to understand that the church is not a building; the church is you and I and what is important is not the building but ensuring that our lives are exemplary to that of Christ.

We need to make our kids understand that church is not where you go and slay, help them know why they go to church, don’t assume that because they go to church they are well grounded in Christ.
After service every Sunday ask them what they learnt discuss it and try to apply to their lifestyle.
Oh the joy of a child knowing Jesus at a young age. I was eager as a child to know more and more about Jesus I consider it a privilege.
Let your children know God from little, do not leave it to the church to do all the work be involved, have memory verses for the week, when they do something wrong punish them with scripture reading/writing it and tell them to summaries it for you; to them it is a punishment but you are actually planting a seed that will yield good fruit in the future.
Bring Church home. Let your kids see Christ in you, help them involve Christ in everything they do.
My daughter wanted a skipping rope, I told her to pray to God for it, she did it then and there because we were at the salon, it’s not like I could not get her the skipping rope how much was it, I just felt she had too many toys.
My daughter prayed all week and the next for that skipping rope. Her dad personally went to get it for her, He was tired of hearing the prayer Lol. He was tripped by her attitude towards prayer and asking for what she wanted. Teach your kids the way of God and when they are old they will not depart from it.

As a working mum I know your time is not flexible and during the week you are swamped. If it’s possible to drop off or pick your kids from school please do so. Discuss with them in the car, you can also discuss while you are having dinner at the table. Make sure your weekends are for your kids. Your kids should never feel like a burden b deliberate about your relationship with them. Let there be no doors stopping them from reaching you at any time.
Till next time remain blessed.

WHAT’S THE BIG DEAL ABOUT FAMILY PLANNING?

WHAT’S THE BIG DEAL ABOUT FAMILY PLANNING?

SMART PHONE, FOOLISH CHRISTIAN

If you’ve never heard of family planning before or you are not exactly sure what it means, this definition should help.

Family planning is the concept of limiting the size of families through the spacing or prevention of pregnancies, especially for economic reasons.

The World Health Organization explains that the main advantage of family planning is that women and couples can avoid unwanted pregnancies, WHO advocates that with family planning, a woman can space out her pregnancies and limit her family size using different methods of contraceptives.

I believe some Christians have misconceptions about this verse in the Bible “Then God blessed them, saying, “Be fruitful and multiply. Let the fish fill the seas, and let the birds multiply on the earth.”” Genesis 1:22 NLT

Yes God wants us to be fruitful but we must be wise about our decisions

Let’s not forget Abraham had just one son and he was the father of many nations! You don’t have to give birth to so many children to be the mother of nations.

I don’t like it when parents have so many children and cannot cater for all of them. It is important to always consider the children before and after they have arrived.

It’s not right to bring children into the world to suffer. If you can’t care for them don’t birth them. 1Timothy 5:8.

There are different methods of family planning however before you choose one, you have to consider a few things.

Now you know about this and you are asking when do start family planning? My answer is this, have this discussion with you spouse and decide mutually. I can only advise that no form of birth control besides condom or withdrawal method should be used if you are yet to have any children, just to be on a safe side medically.

Almost everything in life has disadvantage we just always look for the least dangerous options and go with it. So also the different birth control or family planning methods have their disadvantages but by Gods grace none of these side effects will affect any of us in Jesus name. Amen.

For more details please go the sites listed or visit a gynaecologist.

Remain blessed till my next post.

Written By Tosin Opara

I am the content Creator/Brand manager for “Deestylefairy”. I am passionate about family, parenting and personal development, which are the values that my brand represents.

Dear Christian Wife

Dear Christian Wife

SMART PHONE, FOOLISH CHRISTIAN (1)

“For your royal husband delights in your beauty; honour him, for he is your Lord. ” Psalms 45:11 (NLT)

I see you, I know you have fire for the lord. I SEE you and feel your desire to please the Lord. You spend endless hours in the house of God, doing what you believe is the right thing.

You value your pastors opinion over that your husbands.

In fact your pastors wife has more wisdom than your husband and she has said when you are fasting you should consecrate yourself to God, so no sex while fasting.

Your church says you should cover your hair, not wear trousers and not use extensions you do as they say but your husband desires that you do the opposite.

Be warned God is not mocked whatever you sow so shall you reap.

Your husband is your head and your Lord, If that statement alone makes you angry that is the spirit of jezebel at work. Trust me I have been there before.

Once you are married only your husband has the right to tell you what and what not to do. Let’s go to the word of God; the one time Sarah told Abraham what to do look at the disaster it caused, Ishmael was born. Why am I even going to that story lets start from the beginning when Eve told Adam what to do, look at the outcome. The world is still suffering from their self taught wisdom.

God created men to be kings and priests in their homes let them be! I see you spiritual mama; but once you are home with your family submit to your husband. You cannot be more holy than your husband.

There is an anointing on their head for Leadership, just keep praying for them to make the right decisions. It’s not easy but God will give you wisdom.

If your husband says he is too tired to go to church it’s ok to have service at home while he heads the service, God is everywhere.

Don’t always think you are the holiest one in the relationship just because you think or even see your husband do things that are not Christian like. They answer to God not you. You should not disrespect them with the excuse of trying to tell them off when they do wrong. Stop it.

Be submissive does not mean to be a slave; it means to be respectful, to understand and accept that your husband is Lord over you.

Except it is against THE WORD OF GOD (not your pastor, prophet or parents) whatever your husband says is right! It is only the word of God that remains the same, beware of teachers, preachers, prophets and false men of God that say they heard the spirit of God. Check every advice with the word of God. Your husband comes first! If it’s 4pm and you are still in church since 8am; if your husband is not the pastor you have no business in the church go home and cook for your husband.

Men like to be serviced, pampered and catered for. Take care of your man. Don’t give another woman access into your home.

Wisdom wisdom wisdom get wisdom!

Blessings×××

Keeping the love alive even after the babies

Keeping the love alive even after the babies

smart-phone-foolish-christian

Hello everyone and Happy New Year, may 2017 bring Joy all year round into our lives.

So let’s discuss ladies, how is the love affair with your husband’s? Hope you have not started calling him baba (insert child’s name) or daddy (insert child’s name) because that’s a problem.

When the children start rolling in we forget that our first priority is to our husbands; oh yes hubby come before the kids, but how do we put our ‘ogas at the top’ first without it feeling like a duty.

How do we make our husbands priority in love? How do we still treat them like we did while we were courting? Do they still have that special place in our hearts or have other things taken their place?

Here are a few tips that can help you treat hubby well:

  • If you are a newlywed/ expecting your first baby; then it’s important to discuss how you want to keep you love affair intact. Is it through weekly dinner/lunch dates, romantic weekend getaways or constant texting? Find something that works for you.
  • It’s important to discuss the sex life after delivery and birth control options please. I don’t know how to say this but sex is a major part of your marriage, forget what you know or you think you know. Men love sex don’t deprive them, even the good ones can only be deprived for so long. If you have issues with sex deal with it by talking to the right medical personnel. Don’t be shy to open up please; if you prefer to see a female doctor please request for one.
  • Seeking for domestic help is very important especially if you constantly feel overwhelmed and have a lot of meltdowns, but you need to apply wisdom when welcoming someone into your home to help in the day to day affairs. Pray about it seriously. It’s important that you and not the help cater directly to your family. The help is there to assist not take over from you.
  • Put your love affair with your husband first because your kids will grow and leave you all alone with your hubby.
  • Read articles and literature on how to make your relationship stronger and exciting. Try new and exciting things in and out of the bedroom. Do a surprise home alone arrangement take the kids to grandma, have sometime to yourselves, as a couple. Have fun and do what you used to do before the kids arrived.
  • Always look good for your hubby, even if you don’t go out, ensure you always look good when he gets back.
  • Educate yourself so you will constantly discuss things that will stimulate your hubby’s mind. Your spirituality, intelligence, appearance and character is key to keeping your marriage spicy.

Till next time stay blessed.

Written By Tosin Opara

I am the content Creator/Brand manager for “Deestylefairy”. I am passionate about family, parenting and personal development, which are the values that my brand represents.

Raising Kingdom Children

Raising Kingdom Children

smart-phone-foolish-christian

It’s amazing how there are so many empowerment talk here and there, I am blown away by the number of young Christian women ensuring that other women are living their life for Jesus.

The gospel of Christ is been spread far and wide, I am glad. Let’s take it home for a moment; if Jesus were to come now right now which of your kids would go to heaven?

Have you taken out time to ensure that they are Kingdom approved?

It’s time mothers, it’s time to rise up for your child, the enemy is stealing a lot of kids and destroying their destinies, that would not be our children’s portion in Jesus name. Amen.

What kind of school do your kids go to? Are they particular about raising Kingdom children or are they particular about raising worldly kids?

The time has come for you to live life as a conscious Christian. Does your child go to Sunday school? Do you ask what they learnt at the church? Do you do bible study with your kids, do you teach them stories from the bible?

Buy the appropriate devotionals for your kids, I remember my mom used to get us everyday with Jesus for kids (I think one was called topaz) back then everyone had their own devotional (different age group) and I actually enjoyed it. As a kid those devotional helped me sort out some things I could not tell my parents.

As adults we are so caught up in our world and it’s challenges that we fail to remember that our kids also have challenges at their age, for their age.

Let us ensure our kids are brought up in the way of the lord. It’s more than ensuring they go to church, dress properly or have good manners. It’s ensuring our children make heaven.

There are little kids who gather at night to destroy families, homes, their parents, friends etc. through the manipulation of the enemy. Lets ensure our children are for Christ before the enemy steals them away.

God can use our kids at a very tender age, begin to speak the word of God on their lives prophecy on your children, pour out the Holy spirit on them and encourage them to be willing for the masters use.

Let’s teach our kids that it’s better to be in the lords army from a tender age.

Whatever happened to that bracelet “What would Jesus do” (WWJD)? That bracelet helped me a lot. It stopped me from making stupid decisions and doing stupid things. As a kid, I had anger issues; it actually helped to control my temper. Let’s bring it back.

Buy Christian toys, books, audios and accessories for your kids, take them to Christian concerts let them know that Jesus is cool.

Its operation wwjd! This week I am going to teach my daughter to ask herself wwjd before she takes any decision. Who is with me? Its time to teach our kids that anyone who doesn’t know Jesus isn’t cool and should be schooled about who Jesus is.

Its time to bring those bracelets back what do you guys think?

Let’s spread the gospel to 1000 kids with this band before the year runs out. Children will come to fear God.

Written By

Tosin Opara

I am the content Creator/Brand manager for “Deestylefairy”. I am passionate about family, parenting and personal development, which are the values that my brand represents.

Don't shut your kids up

Don't shut your kids up

smart-phone-foolish-christian

 

My mum came to visit few days back actually she came to recuperate in my home she was a bit under the weather. She told me about a child who asked her parent about sex, she was told to shut up and never say that again. (Typical)

The inquisitive child went ahead to ask the driver what sex is. The driver decided to take his teaching a bit further by showing her what sex was and this ultimately ruined her life, as she reportedly became addicted to sex.

Well I don’t believe the whole story (you know how these old women keep hearing one story or the other and we don’t *sigh*) but one thing is true a lot of parent shut their kids up. It could be because they are embarrassed, clueless about the topic, distracted or over zealous.

If you don’t tell your kids what they need to know or hear them out some one else will and that is very risky.

Kids are inquisitive especially from the toddler age, Yep! blame technology. Do not think these children are too small to understand whatever it is you explain. The wonderful thing about kids that age is that whether they understand it or not they take it hook line and sinker.

There are many predators out there (all over the world), not trying to scare you but it’s the truth. Be patient with your kids and hear them out when they are speaking. Don’t be too busy for your kids. What’s the point of changing the world and your kids are not benefiting from  that change.

Teach your kids about God, sex, violence, abuse, money, self control etc. Don’t do all the talking make it an interactive conversation, ask questions to know how much they know about it before giving your opinion.

Try not to force your opinion on your kids, instead give them reasons why they should consider such path. Encourage them, don’t criticize.

If you don’t know how to go about this special talk with your kids seek professional advice on how to go about it.

God help us all in Jesus name Amen. May our kids never be victims but Victors, in Jesus name Amen.

Written by Tosin Opara

I am the content Creator/Brand manager for “Deestylefairy”. I am passionate about family, parenting and personal development, which are the values that my brand represents.

Picture Credit: Google

How to handle a spouse from a dysfunctional home

How to handle a spouse from a dysfunctional home

smart-phone-foolish-christian-3

Being married to a spouse from a dysfunctional home is a gift; it’s a gift in the sense that your spouse would be more sensitive and alert to the things you would not even think of in the first place.

That said let’s look at how you can handle the negative side of things.

First things first; you need to identify the issue, what went down back at home, long before you met; it is important to have known this before marriage but in the case were you didn’t know this is how to know.

Whenever they are ready or willing to talk LISTEN!

Don’t listen to respond, don’t give any advice when they are done just LISTEN! After the discussion hug them tight if he/she ends up crying let them cry hold them till they are done.

Tell them you are there for them say a prayer with them asking God to heal their wounds, take away the pain and teach you how to be the spouse they need you to be.

 

Secondly if there are negative traits; usually these traits tend towards the extreme, you need try to correct them constructively. It is very important to watch the way you speak to them cause some of them are usually suicidal if not all. Correct in love. If they for any reason feel hurt by the way you tried to correct take time to explain what you mean.

The bulk of your arguments as a couple would be based on misunderstanding. It’s always important to express yourself well and ensure that your message is passed across.

Always end with how much you love them regardless of what they do. Most times people from dysfunctional homes are always hard on themselves; because of the negative environment they grew up in they have learnt to always blame themselves for whatever happens and they never see a reason to give themselves a pat on the back.

Help them celebrate little victories and open their eyes to see the positive side of things always.

When praying; instead of praying for God to change your spouse, pray to God to help you be a better person for your spouse.

Your spouse went through that difficult road in the past and still came out strong, appealing and attractive to someone like you. Don’t give up on them they are still here for a reason I call such people diamonds.

Till next time. stay blessed up.

Written By

Tosin Opara

I am the content Creator/Brand manager for “Deestylefairy”. I am passionate about family, parenting and personal development, which are the values that my brand represents.

 

Having difficulties balancing God, marriage and children? This is for you

Having difficulties balancing God, marriage and children? This is for you

smart-phone-foolish-christian

When I had my first baby I was finding it difficult to balance anything. My fellowship time with God was non-existing for a while. I had to cry out to God for help. I was confused.

When you lack wisdom on anything cry out to God and he will give you the wisdom you require for any situation.

I will share some tips below on how I balanced my kids, marriage and spiritual life.

The first thing to do is have a scale of preference, which is more important to you?

My order was

  • God first
  • My Spouse
  • My kids
  • Me

When you understand that God is first and without him you can’t make it through out the day you will forcefully take out time for him. Back then my kids and hubby always interrupted me during my personal devotion.

I tried waking up before them, it didn’t work. They would wake up 10 minutes after; I had to figure out something. I got inspired by a write up from another parent going through the same issue.

Put your Bible and all what you need for your personal time with God in the rest room aka toilet, yep it’s that bad. The bible says “And from the days of John the Baptist until the present time, the kingdom of heaven has endured violent assault, and violent men seize it by force” [as a precious prize–a share in the heavenly kingdom is sought with most ardent zeal and intense exertion].

Matthew 11:12 AMP

One has to be forceful about these things.

Here’s another tip especially if you fall in the category of “technology taking your time with God”;

Set a reminder on your phone about fellowship time ensure to set it for 2-3 minutes after wake up time. If your laptop is the first thing you go to when you wake, put your bible on your laptop. The rest room works for me than the others. You can get a cute caddy basket that can carry your bible, highlighters, notepad and devotional. Nobody disturbs when you are in the rest room. (Except toddlers so shut the door)

If you have a spare room in your home you can make it your war room. Ensure it has a lock so when you are there nobody disturbs.

Once your relationship with God is sorted you are 90% okay.

A good marriage requires hard work and deliberate actions.

  • Set Specific times for date night ; stick to it and dress up for it, be it at home or else where.
  • Sex, teasing and physical touch should be consistent. Men would take any of those three over nothing. Yes sometimes we are tired, but we can still cuddle, touch or be teased.
  • Spice your marriage with different surprises. You could try a new recipe, new sex style or game.

Just like you study hard for exams so you don’t fail, work hard at your marriage an by Gods grace it won’t fail.

And for the kids one thing is important: there is no proper way to take care of kids because no two kids are the same that said; Know that they require these things to survive; a loving environment, healthy lifestyle, education and Jesus. How you achieve these is solely left to you, your spouse and your abilities, with God help.

Till next time, remained blessed

Written by Tosin Opara

I am the content Creator/Brand manager for “Deestylefairy”. I am passionate about family, parenting and personal development, which are the values that my brand represents.

 

Your child is not a dunce

Your child is not a dunce

 

smart-phone-foolish-christian

I remember vividly as a kid back in primary school I was tagged  “olodo” hehe. Mehn I found it difficult to comprehend anything (except story books). In Grade3 while walking hand in hand down the corridor with my then best friend, Tolu; my class teacher called my best friend, I will never forget her. He asked Tolu; how come Tosin is your friend and she still gets low grades?  Tolu was the best student in the class (first position every time) She looked distraught as a kid she felt she should do something about it, so she told me to sit next to her in class and copy her answers yep she wanted my grades to be better.

I did try to copy her,  but I could not see the numbers or letters on her book. I was next to her but her writings were blurred.

At that time I was too young to understand I needed glasses. I could not complain at home as my mum was strict and already concluded that i was lazy and playful plus I lied a lot( shhhhh)

I struggled my way through primary school.

When I got to college I had people telling me I should go see an optician because I clearly had eye issues. After my first term in Jss1 I knew I had to say something, I came out 19th out of 90 students in the class.

That was my first taste of success  ( yeah 19th out of 90 students was actually a big deal to me) I desired more so I had to speak up.

I told my dad; my mum still being the African strict mother took me to see the optician but warned me sternly not to lie she promised to whoop my behind if my results where negative ahhh. Throughout that test i was shaking like a leaf, the optician bless her heart had to repeat the test like 3times.

Long and short of the story after I got my glasses, I was always within 1st to 3rd position at a point 1st and 2nd not to brag.  haha.

What’s the lesson here? Most times as parents we always believe we know it all especially as regards academics. To tell you the truth the education system in Nigeria is whack. I think that Nigeria’s academic system is designed only for those who can cram.

Let’s be actively involved in our kid’s academics no child is born a failure or dunce we just have to work out the greatness in them. Train them to know because knowledge is power and help them to retain that knowledge. I remember a biography of a great person I once read. It said that the teacher wrote to the parent saying that the boy’s case was hopeless and that he should be taken to a special school. The mother trashed the letter and home schooled her son. She told him every day that he was smart. Today his story is different.

Kids will believe whatever you say.

What do you say to your kids? Do you have time for their academics?

Let your child believe that they are the best through your eyes and words and trust me they will be the best.

No child is a dunce, but  each needs something different to thrive.  Find out what your child needs

Written By

Tosin Opara

I am the content Creator/Brand manager for “Deestylefairy”. I am passionate about family, parenting and personal development, which are the values that my brand represents.

How to be a Help mate when you are unemployed

How to be a Help mate when you are unemployed

 

smart-phone-foolish-christian-1

Being a stay at mom was not by choice. I was forced into that situation because I could not get a job. My husband God bless his heart was the sole financial provider for about 2years. Based on that I knew I still had to be a help mate some how as regards finances so here is what I did.

Cut your coat according to your size. I never pressured my husband about our wants I only ensured our needs where met.

I ensured our food stuff and household products where within our budget. You will be surprised on how far you can stretch 1000 naira  when you make conscious effort. When you consciously assist your hubby this way, trust me he will praise you.

Don’t get carried away when your hubby gives you cash to splurge on yourself try to invest/save for the future. Yes you don’t have any business idea now but you can start preparing so when it comes you will be ready.

Social media can be a curse if you allow it, don’t believe all you see on social medias not everything is true. Just because you are managing your finances does not mean you are poor; it only means you are being smart now so you can rejoice later.

Learn to encourage your spouse from time to time by word of mouth, surprise special dinner, bedtime fun *wink wink* and little surprise notes here and there.

Prepare yourself mentally, write down your ideas, plans and work towards it.  We are all creative human beings because our father is a Creator and we were created in His image. So be creative don’t let lack of funds or being unemployed stop you. There are so many things you can do with little or no capital. Use what you have, and start where you are.

I know some ladies out there whose spouses don’t want them working at all, its okay whenever he gives you some cash try to always save. He does not have to know; you see when the raining days come and you give him something to fall back on he will bless you for it.

Finally be a woman of prayer, always back your spouse with prayer. Pray for grace wisdom and strength daily. While you are waiting on your own opportunity prayerfully and mentally prepare yourself.

Written By

Tosin Opara

Tosin Opara

I am the content Creator/Brand manager for “Deestylefairy”. I am passionate about family, parenting and personal development, which are the values that my brand represents.

Please wait...

Join The Beautified Network!

Hello Beautified Woman! Join our Network and be the first to know once we have a new post up. Enter your email address and name below.